95 Questions to Ask your Potential Husband Before Entering into Marriage!!

[BACK2MYROOTS]

[Quote] "This is a list of questions to ask your future spouse. You can pick and choose or ask them all. Also be prepared to answer many of these questions yourself. The most important thing is to be HONEST with yourself and with the potential partner so that you both know what you're getting into.

(1) What are you expectations of marriage?
(2) What are your goals in life?
(3) Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
(4) Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
(5) Why have you chosen me as a potential spouse?

(6) What is the role of religion in your life now?
(7) Are you a spiritual person?
(8) What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
(9) What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
(10) What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
(11) Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities
(12) What can you offer your zawja spiritually?

(13) What is the role of the husband?
(14) What is the role of the wife?
(15) Do you want to practise polygamy?

(16) What is your relationship with your family like?
(17) What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be like?
(18) What do you expect your spouse's relationship with your family to be like?
(19) Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
(20) Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
(21) If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?

(22) Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
(23) How did you get to know them?
(24) Why are they your friends?
(25) What do you like most about them?
(26) What will your relationship with them be like after marriage?
(27) Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
(28) What is the level of your relationship with them now?
(29) What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
(30) What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?

(31) What are the things that you do in your free time?
(32) Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
(33) What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
(34) Do you travel?
(35) How do you spend your vacations/ holidays?
(36) Do you intend to go on holiday alone, with friends, or family in future?
(37) Do you read?
(38) What do you read?

(39) After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
(40) After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
(41) How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
(42) How do you express your feelings to someone who has done you a favour ?
(43) Do you like to write your feelings?
(44) If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
(45) If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
(46) How much time passes before you can forgive someone?

(47) How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
(48) Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
(59) Do your friends use foul language?
(50) Does your family use foul language?
(51) How do you express anger?
(52) How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
(53) What do you do when you are angry?
(54) When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
(55) When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
(56) Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
(57) What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
(58) Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?

(59) Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
(60) Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
(61) What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
(62) How do you support your own health and nutrition?

(63) What is you definition of wealth?
(64) How do you spend money?
(65) How do you save money?
(66) How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
(67) Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
(68) Do you use credit cards?
(69) Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
(70) What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
(71) What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
(72) Do you support the idea of a working wife?
(73) If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
(74) Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
(75) Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?

(76) Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
(77) Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
(78) To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
(79) Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
(80) Do you believe in abortion?
(81) Do you have children now?
(82) What is your relationship with your children now?
(83) What is your relationship with their other parent?
(84) What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parents?
(85) What is the best method(s) of raising children?
(86) What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
(87) How were you raised?
(88) How were you disciplined?
(89) Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
(90) Do you believe in public school for your children?
(91) Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
(92) Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
(93) What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
(94) Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
(95) What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
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Happy question asking!

Wasalaamu alaikum

Muslimah2Muslimah" [Quote]
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Ladies, do you find this list useful at all? Which questions are vital?

Gentlemen, by the time you've answered the last question, you'll probably be ready for a divorce n'est-ce pas?! (lol)

B2MR

[mohovitch]

There are so many reasons why a marriage can go wrong.... it makes wonder why people marry in the first place...

[BACK2MYROOTS]

There are so many reasons why a marriage can go wrong.... it makes wonder why people marry in the first place...

It's heavenly when the partners act like one, love each other, enjoy each other's company, and work together to make a success of it, rather than leave it all for the man or the woman to keep it afloat. It can be an absolute nightmare, of course...But most of us get out of it only to get into another one! Why?!

[Felicity]

i'm pleased to say that I think my husband and I asked most of those questions about each other prior to marriage, and perhaps therefore, mixed marriage is a good thing, as it forces you to think ahead on many of these topics possibly sooner than a non-mixed marriage couple would...

From a personal point of view i think 67 & 68 are very important questions. (as I hate to owe any money at all)

[Drajah]

ooh, I've seen a similar list before. My brother introduced me to a friend of his, and um, when I asked the majority of the questions, his response was "I dunno, I haven't really thought about it"

It's important [for me at at least] that someone has a clear life goals in their head, and knows where they're going.

[Cheba_Mami]

It should not be like a job interview or something.... it should happen natural
right ladies?

[Tipaza]

Une petite introspection ... prenez-là comme bon vous semble, j'ai juste envie de m'exprimer. Toute réaction est la bienvenue.

(1) I do not think marriage is vital. (Am I shocking anybody ?)
(7) A spiritual person, yes. But I don't want my life to be blindly guided by religion.
Religion is good for those who have hesitations, can hardly stick to principles or whatever. I like (and cherish) the idea of freedom ... over anything else, I think.
(12) Offer respect and support plus a book of our conversations ... I'd like to receive something like his jacket.
(13) (14) ... equality ... equality ... (Is "polygamy" something you eat after marriage too ?)
(16) (22) family and friends will be there even in case of WAR ... "how and where and what" are personal questions prior to any "you".

SURPRISE: Nothing about children before a "you" ?

(37) A picture of my bedside table to give you an idea?
(43) Very very romantic ... I write all the time.
(53) I rarely get angry at home ...
(62) You mean .. if I'm a good cook ? Try me.
(72) Do you support the idea of a working "husband" ? ......................... pretty well, I think.
(82) What is your relationship with your children now ? ................. and what will be your relationship with them ?
(86) Sorry, I don't have any rhino or tiger at home.
(94)(95) Excellent (and interpersonal, i.e. with no intrusion of any sort)

WHO'S NEXT ???