I hope B2MR keeps posting...

[mohovitch]

I tend to try to learn from people who are older than me. They expect death to come closer to them than I do so they tend to go to what is essential in life, for example the roots (like B2MR).

Here is a lecture by an american prof in computer science about what is essential in life, he was expecting to die from a cancer... and he did die few months later:

[salma]

Bouncy Kitten is Today's BIG Thing in Cute Animals - SEP 29, 2009

Again that one was sooo cute!! I really love the caption too:

"Is it wrong that I want to stuff this cute little guy in a box, wrap him up like a present, then give him to someone like one of those surprise snake cans? Because if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right, and shouldn't be trusted with kittens."

[Al-khiyal]

OK team, just a few words to cool down the issue that gave rise to this thread.

I'm not going to do a forensic 'he said, she said, then he said and so she said' here, although it wouldn't take a lot to stitch that kind of post together - the fact is that a few minor 'collisions' between different people on different threads at different times led to the adoption of various positions and perceptions, which evidently had a bearing on individual moods. And words sent in lightness - or even carelessness - were perhaps received as blows at times, but let's be honest - there was no 'killer abuse' being passed around. I've seen a lot of real nastiness on this site over the years and I can say with all confidence that not one of the people involved in the various recent 'collisions' could be remotely described as abusive, malicious, trouble-making, genuinely racist or bigoted in any way. As brawls go, this was a series of exchanges in a genteel tea shop, with no heavy weapons involved at all. And yet we have someone saying that he's no longer going to post, and perceptions of the issue, along with allegations of responsibility for culpability, and continuing sniping being dropped on threads where they don't belong.

It's not a crisis, it is not high drama, it's not a life-or-death struggle that demands factions to be formed and some kind of perpetual conflict to erupt. It's a storm in a teacup - une tempête dans un verre d'eau. There wasn't one word, or one post, that tipped things, there was a slow-burning fuse and a series of minor bouts of friction and so there are several identifiable pieces of mosaic that make up the overall picture.

How did the notorious 'Nice Gang' get to this? How is that the 'Tea shop Mob' is suddenly brandishing spoons, and some stirring's going on.....?

Let's be straight - real abusers don't fly here any more. Their wings have been clipped, they've been tossed out without a parachute. And that leaves everyone else who comes here - and they all come here because of either a love of or an interest in Algeria. We get a few 'one-shot question and just-passing-through' characters, but the people who like to drop in regularly have a devotion to Algeria in common. They are scattered all over the world but they each have a personal and unique perspective to bring here.

Now, recent tea room combatants might be nursing bruised pride and egos, and hatching plans to find a new way of flicking marmalade at 'an opponent' on a new thread or several old ones. That would be a waste of time for a couple of good reasons. Firstly, even people you've 'collided with' are more than your temporary annoyed reaction might pigeonhole them as - just because you've disagreed on one or more issues doesn't mean that they have nothing of value to add to further discussions that you might enjoy, or that they have no information or experience that could prove to be valuable to you another time. It is a serious error to close your mind to the potential of others based on a few or even on several disagreements. Nobody is going to get thrown out, or be driven out, because they disagree with you, that is never going to happen.

I looked at some of the 'collisions' and didn't intervene at all. Because they were disagreements, not abusive rants or threats or hate speech. It may come as a shock to encounter views that aren't the same as your own, but not liking those views shouldn't extend to writing off the humanity of whoever delivered them. You actually have an option here, on top of your own personal self-control that can hold you back from posting 'heated words', to set any member whose words you don't want to read on 'ignore'. A drastic solution, perhaps, that would rob you of any of the wit and wisdom they posted here, but the bottom line is that between your own self-control and the user control panel you can avoid all the 'scenes' you want to.

It's also somewhat ironic to see people make posts that invite comment, and then become enraged when people make comments that they don't like or agree with. If affirmation and agreement is all you're after, maybe give a headline to your thread - 'People who disagree with me must not answer'. It's equally ironic to see pointless rage or sulking if people don't comment at all. The forum has tens of thousands of threads, people wander around and browse where they like and aren't necessarily coming here to be conscripted into conversations. There is variety and choice here, that's part of what people are coming for, and so there is no need to feel rejected if a thread gets few or no answers.

I like people liking people but I'm not so naive as to think that everyone will get along all the time. And if you all understand that it's not only possible but that it's almost guaranteed that at some time or other some of your beliefs are going to be challenged or criticised here you'd do well to consider a more measured response than escalating conflict. Again, nobody's going to get chased off for disagreeing with you, there won't be any lynch mobs forming that make life uncomfortable for anyone you've 'collided with', and if sniping continues then you'll meet the second good reason why marmalade flicking is out - I'm not going to let you do that. And neither are any of the other moderators and if we were all away nor will the administrator of this site.

Disagreement here is OK, it is natural, it's healthy - and nobody dies and nobody gets injured. Bruised pride and bruised egos don't count. If some of our recent 'casualties' are totally honest they would acknowledge that the words they delivered to others were sometimes as wounding or provocative as those that they claim to have been wounded by.

So where do we go from here? Nobody has been driven away, everyone is still as welcome here as they ever were. With no exceptions. Anyone can take a break, take time to catch their breath and their composure, and then drop by whenever they're ready and they can always be sure of a place here among people whose love and respect for Algeria and its people gives them something very special in common with one another.

There is no battle or war, no matter how long it lasts, that does not have peace at its end.

Elli fat mat - enjoy each other, and enjoy and respect your differences.

[salma]

I think you've started something Felicity, because I keep looking up funny cat videos now!

Tried to embed this one but no idea how so here is the link instead: