Is this the norm?

[Suki]

Madame, I know you would not want her to be hurt. That is being a good friend. He refuses to take her to the embassy? Why? Because he doesn't want to support her? Why doesn't he want to support her?

This sounds suspiciously like the wedding I attended by that friend I mentioned earlier. The man was Brazilian and never let her speak to his family in Brazil. Why? Later she found out he was addicted to pornography on the internet and was sending emails to his wife and three kids who he never bothered to divorce or tell her about and he had married her under false pretenses to get some kind of visa through the Mexican embassy. It was a mess. The marriage was anulled and she was embarrassed in front of all her family and friends that she has spent thousands of dollars on the wedding...it was horrible!

She was furious and cut up all his clothes and he wanted MONEY? He told her I will leave you alone and not stalk you anymore if you give me 30 thousand....it was horrible. She was so ANGRY. I thought she would commit murder. But he wound up losing everything. His wife did not know in Brazil he had remarried. He had lied to everyone.

Sounds suspicious.

[madame]

As far as I'm aware, he can't afford to support her and he wanted her to support him but what he planned backfired. I honestly believe he wished her parent's in Algeria didn't approve of the marriage but they did. That is one reason he can't call her because he can't afford to. In my opinion, that is why he didn't marry an Egyptian.

[Suki]

So he married an Algerian because Algerians tend to be better off financially than Egyptians? Is that the motivation?

There are many marriages arranged for financial gain. The couple doesn't even like each other sometimes but both are of the same socioeconomic status and the families want the union. Then you got the match.com and all those websites promising a good match. I find it funny how on those sites like Great Expectations etc. they tell you how much money the man makes or the woman makes, and what 'lifestyle' you can expect by marrying them.

When I married my husband he was a recent college graduate with a small student loan, no job and no savings. He lived in the poorest of the poor housing project for our city. His mother worked as a hotel maid for a big tourist hotel. He had found out he was adopted by his poor parents and he was not their biological son after both his mother and father had died. His last name did not even 'belong' to him in terms of his genetics. He had absolutely nothing that many of these scheming people would VALUE. Nothing. No money, no property of any value, no prestigious family name, no great position in society. Nothing to support a wife and family with. DID I CARE? NO!

I did not marry him to have a prestigious name, or to have money and a home with luxuries or to have a ostentatious wedding, or any of that. I married him because I LOVED HIM more than anything in the world. And because he was the finest gentleman in manners and in thoughts I had ever met. And he made me feel good about myself and made me feel like a Queen always. That was the reason.

And apparently it sure was a good reason. Because he is a hard worker, and a responsible man and a good man. And due to his outstanding social skills and ways and being a good learner in life he always found a way of working and paying the bills and being responsible. People let themselves be swayed by things that are not important. Just because they want something for THEMSELVES only Madame. True wisdom is to be able to GIVE and want to give to others unselfishly and in those acts, one gains what is most important. People looking out for themselves only get precisely that out of their mates. People who look out for themselves and when a crisis hits...they are left without a lifeline to help them navigate the storms in LIFE.

So there is the thought that if you marry an Algerian you might have more money for living off of than if you marry a fellow Egyptian. Hmmmm. I would think that depends on the Egyptian. Wouldn't you?

I learned something new today with you.

[madame]

Unfortunately, I believe he married her for financial gain. He knows she will work and he couldn't afford to support a family but with her he has no worries. I am not painting all Egyptian males with the same brush, but as we both know, there is bad in all nationalities. While working in Egypt, I noticed many Egyptian women just want to marry, have kids, and definitely not work. He would have went for any foreigner not just Algerians. I know he has asked another foreigner to be his second wife.

[Cheba_Mami]

Sorry to hear that Madame , that is not a marriage that is a like a bussinescontract for the greedy one.
She is not a wife but a wallet. A personal financial caretaker.

No this is not a norm. do not ever think all men are like this. If you see ' red flags' like greed, disrespect, not even friendship and no, that marriage will never be a succes.

Good luck

[madame]

Unfortunately, she just found out he was married before through his family member. She was shocked. She asked him about her and he said ''what about her?''. I will go to visit her in Algeria in October. She will be in Egypt until October. She will spend Ramadan and EID in Egypt with her husband then go to Algeria in October and stay until March and work then spend six months in Egypt. She wants to live with her husband in Egypt, but he keeps throwing in her face that she can't stay in Egypt without a job. She has to pay her trip back to Algeria and back to Egypt. I don't know much about Islam, but she says she can't divorce but he's told her he was considering taking a 2nd wife. He has also told her that she can't sleep with him while she is on her monthly and during Ramadan. She said she wasn't aware of this. She says he stills talks to his ex secretly. I just don't understand why he dosen't divorce her if he won't treat her right instead of taking a 2nd wife.