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  1. #1
    sahraoui is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Posts
    50

    Question

    Hello there,

    I am a curious person and I like to know why?

    Well i was talking to a friend the other day and he told me
    that he would never marry a person he meet over the internet.
    The guy spent much of his life in the US but he still thinks
    that a "marriable" woman should not send email messages.
    We know however than in our tradition there is a saying
    that says: Oukhtoub lbentek..and the rest I forgot..
    basically you should (as a parent) look for a husband to
    your girl. But some traditional people think that a man
    who would do that has a problem with his daughter. How
    are people supposed to spot a girl if her parent do not
    invite people over to the house. People does that
    and i was invited several times :-)

    I think it is normal given the times and given the dilution
    of people around. We do not live in a small village
    any more but we live in various continents at the same time.

    What your lads and lassies think of this

    cheers

    --s

  2. #2
    storm is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Posts
    26

    Wink

    im not agree about parents lookin for a husband for their daughter, very stupid. my cousin had been arranged marriage and he is not happy. i have friends who married with a man from internet n she is verry happy right now and another not happy she even think about divorce. before get married u should know ur partner very well first than think about marriage. i met w/ very wonderful man from internet and he ask me to marry

  3. #3
    luvlynadia is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    206
    Salam , intresting topic, i dnt agree with the father of the girl looking for her husband to be honest i never heard of that before in algeria (only in certain cases where maybe the girl has brought shame to her family and the best solution iis to marry her off asap)inviting ppl round to your house does does not mean the father is doing this on purpose so that you spot the daughter, it could be innocent and freindly, yeh sure there are cases that the father might have his eye on a certain guy for his daughter i think thats ok but not to actually say "hey i got a nice girl at home blabla shes not married" i dnt think any father would do this to his daughter . i believe that its best for the guy to pick his wife himself ie through family n freinds later when he knows which girl hes intrested in speak to her family an get to know the bride, im not to sure about internet dating i think that getting to know one another through a computer is not the best way about it, sure if it goes well then thats good like they get married an live happily ever after but what about the ppl on the net only wanting to fool around and hurting ppls feelings. my cousin got married last summer to a guy that was kinda like a arranged marriage, they didnt no each other until they got engaged ( his mum spotted her at a wedding 2days later she visited my uncle with her husband an a box of pātisserie) my uncle asked around about the family and only heard good things about these ppl so he asked his daughter an she agreed, now theyve been married since july and there happy. a freind of mine married 2yrs ago meeting her husband online and is goint through a messy divorce right now , ( he lied about many things , including he was married twice b4 with 5 kids, lol imagine!) however doesnt mean all internet relationships are bad but internet doesnt promise that everything is honest especially if theses ppl are chating from different sides of the world, marriages goes both ways,, good or bad an sometimes good and bad its our maktoub an everything is planned way before we were born we cant change it . but one things for sure make sure you do your homework on your future partner . arranged marriage does not always work and that why i think its important for the couple get to know each other before the wedding, im not saying dating , i mean a couple of months or evn a year of engagemnt only known by the families involved if all goes well then get married youyouyouyou, internet marriage same thing make sure you know the person n make sure thers no skelotins in their closet ... communication n trust go along way ,,, salam

  4. #4
    Khokom Guest
    This is such an important topic, I wanted to discuss for a looooooooooong time.. Thank you Mr Sahraoui.

    Sahraoui, the problem sometimes lies with parents. Parents and family expect that they contribute a great deal in any of their children's marriages.... of course this is part of our culture and tradition... but its really difficult when u find a person you like .... parents might not necessarily approve of that marriage to go ahead.

    Of course, my mother always tells me she will go back home and find me an algerian gurl to marry...etc etc... but its really difficult, i dunno how to explain it.

    I will not marry any gurl without my parents approval, you know, if your mum says no it means NO... and she knows what shes talkin about... but, also there is the problem of marrying from a different culture.... mothers always want a gurl from the same culture for her son.... etc... wow this marriage thing is difficult.


    Sahraoui you dont mind if I can email you on something, maybe you have some advice to offer? Many thanx bro.

    Khokom.

  5. #5
    Dreamzz is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    47

    Thumbs up

    Hi everyone,
    i don't agree with arranged marriages or marring a person you met over the internet, i think that arranged marriages are for people back in the days, i don't mean that you should be dating anyone either,for example if a man likes a woman or something like that he should ask the parents permission to get to know the daughter and then they should get to know each other before rushing into marriage or engagment. and marrying someone you met over the internet is just plain crazyness, unless you meet the guy\girl on the internet and talk to them for a while and then meet them and get to know them and eveything about them then maybe that would be ok... and if it's someone overseas then don't even think about it.
    Rana

  6. #6
    nardinef is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    724
    I don't see a problem with ppl meeting on the internet and getting married. I think it's more of an advantage to meet ppl on the net, because u get to know the person and like them for their character, rather than base ur fondness on their physical features. Sometimes marriages don't work because a couple lacks patience. I think that both ppl in a any marriage have to be very patient and understanding to achieve a healthy and comfortable marital life. It's not always going to be a bed of roses.


  7. #7
    Dreamzz is offline Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    47

    Talking

    for nardinef,
    well it doen't have to be over the internet to like someone for who they are i think that all depends on you and your personality if your not all about liking someone for how they look then it would'nt matter if their on the internet or next door.... but if you wanna find someone online and marry them then i wish you good luck cause believe me you don't know what kinda frieks are online. and i know many people that tried that it ended up with a bad divorse case.
    and if you do meet someone you like on line then really i would wish you good luck and i would hope that things work out for you, because after all may be it's the new yorker mantality or the algerian mantality and i could be wrong...LOL...and i hope i did'nt offend you in any way.
    Rana

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