Im English in love with algerian man

[cmckayb]

Please help.....
I am an english girl in love with an algerian man, I have just ended the relationship as he was abusive and smacked me on the face and head.
He also spat in my face too many times and was verbally abusive about my body,
He has two personalitys, he can be a kind man but when something happens he can change .
I have children from my previous relationship and he was very strict with them.
Please tell me is this common behaviour for men from this culture? i must also add im am not religous but respected his views.
please can anyone relate to this? is there anybody in simular circumstances? or can just offer advice.

[redkahina]

I am not algerian nor am i married to an algerian,
but I do know that not all people (or men) of one culture can be categorized into one behavior. Good and bad are in every country, every color, and every religion.
But as a woman, I offer my support to you and firmly believe that your independence will do you more good than your dependence on a man who abuses you. Love can be blind and sometimes we need to force our eyes open, even if it means more emotional pain.
Easier said than done, I suppose... perhaps there may be support groups in the area where you live ( in england?), shelters for abused women, etc.
Best of luck,
redkahina

[Irishspark]

My algerian ex was kind and very comical. There are alot of good ones, abusive men come from all countries as redkahina said. Oddly enough I found alot of abusers deliberately choose people they perceive as needing them, as having something wrong with them. They know this person is incompatible when they enter the relationship...that is their agenda so they can have a reason to:leave, drink, have their secret flaw ie prostitutes, drugs you name it...this is a deep one. Before you go any further I encourage you to read the book "Men who can't love". I forget the author but it is a common book and can be found in the self help section of most libraries or ordered from a book store. It gives valuable information for all you gals out there who are wondering what you are doing wrong...go no further and add no further blame...read the book and change your life and your choices in life. You can rescue it if you wish, the book tells you what you need to do to give it your best shot....all women know that we repeat things we feel we didn't handle right...guilt is our worst enemy...it gets us living in a vicious addictive circle of hell...and years later you will be alone and bitter and baffled...get off that lane asap and good luck!


[QUOTE]Originally posted by cmckayb
[B]Please help.....

[mariayoucef]

Hi1 Hope you are ok now. I am engaged to an Alferian man and he is just wonderful: respectful, kind, responsible and tender.
I think that those kind of abusive men or people don´t belong to a specific culture. I know abouta abusive Spaniards, French and English men... and women. You had a bad experience but I would like to remind you that English men can also be abusive, can´t they?
I am sure you will find a nice man in the future, don´t let yourself locked into the past of a horrible relationship..
GOOD LUCK

[Tamy]

You have to leave him at once...this has nothing to do with nationality, religion or race...this man is dangerous for you and your small kids...get a hell out of this mess...he will cry, beg, promise to change blablabla...do not buy a word just run away take your kids to some safety place...start fresh somewhere faraway from him... dont let him ever find you again. Good luck !

[-Electra-]

Remember your kids are NUMBER 1, dont let anyone hurt them or you, you should be cherished not beaten.

Be strong & leave.

You'll be just fine.

[Hadi]

Hello
First of all, I'm not contrasting the above emails, but would like to say that before doing anything try to find out why he is behaving so. If you could know that therein you may find a solution where you could play on the deep chord.
You've said, yourself that He is sometimes good and others bad, Which means it depends on something you should know. I'm not gonna tell you to run away from him, but rather do the best you can to change these things in him. I know it's sometimes hard to bear, but you have to try for the sake of love. If he pretending that he is Muslim and is treating you that way you should tell him that's wrong. Our religion strongly recommended that dignity should come first as far as women are concerned....and still too much to say..
Hadi