I am also married to an Algerian man...two months!! I am North American. I have not been to Algeria yet. We went out for two years before we were married. Tradition and culture are very important to Algerian men. My husband would not go to my parents house when we were dating as he did not think it was right...so my parents were surprised when we met with them to tell them we were getting married. I am not muslim - he is. Like everyone else mentioned the modesty is a very big thing...my husband was attracted to me as when we were introduced I smiled at him and then averted my eyes.
My husband also keeps things close to his chest and doesn't really express what is goign on.
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9th July 2003 21:06 #8Junior Member
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- Jul 2003
10th July 2003 19:48 #9Junior Member
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- Jun 2003
Hi, Iím really glad that everyone here is willing to share his or her own experience with me. Thank you J I really do appreciate it. My main concern with this guy is that I do not know what he is up to. I hate it so much when he wants me to pay him for teaching me how to play tennis. Oh well, not just playing tennis that I have to pay but to learn his language as well! Thatís good enough to piss me off completely. I mean you donít really ask for money when youíre offering your help right? Another annoying thing is that he pick his nose or if not his teeth right in front of me when he talks to me. Then again, sometimes he is good to me and sometimes not very much depends on his mood on that day. He always want me to listen to him doesnít matter he is in a right or wrong and how can this be? Also, when I have problems, he is not there to listen simply because he is not interested. And then again, thereís no sharing. He donít always share with me what is in his mind. To be honest, Iím not interested into his guess-playing-games as Iím too tired having to guess all of the time. I donít think I have enough of freedom when with him, more like a bird in the cage. His is older than me 5 years and one thing for sure is that Iím not willing to convert to Islam as I was brought up with my own religion which I love most. Donít get me wrong, Iím not saying Islam is no good. He is good looking and have a nice body but this is not what I really want in a guy as I prefer him to have a good personality instead. One thing good about him is that he doesnít smoke, drink or gamble.
Whatever that is, Iím happy for Tracey, Ann and La_Papillon for their happy marriage with their Mr Right. Hope things go well and all the best. Is sad to tell, but I donít think he is right for me as both of us are very different and we donít think the same. He wonít mind that but I do mind. Iím willing to give up on him-dump him in the bin. What do you think?
11th July 2003 08:19 #10Member
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- Jul 2003
Just read your recent message. Can undertand your doubts about relationship- alarm bells would be ringing for me if I had met someone similar,though I don't think this is purely down to the fact that he is Algerian.
The things that you describe- if he were from my own country/culture alarm bells would be ringing.My husband wasn't as you described your friend at all. A real friend doesn't 'charge' you for being helped, and will show an interest in your problems.
Life is too short to waste it on people who don't appreciate you!
11th July 2003 21:52 #11Junior Member
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- Dec 2002
I totally agree with Tracy. My husband always good to me. Alarm bells would be ringing very loud!! The way he is acting has nothing to do with him being Algerian. You get good and bad in every culture.
15th July 2003 20:42 #12Junior Member
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- Jul 2003
I have to agree with the two previous ladies. This man is no good. I don't know of any Arab man that would ask a woman outright for money - I know my husband has problems asking me if he has run out & I am his wife. If he was seriously interested in you he would be happy to teach you things as a wya to get to know you and develop a relationship and would not demand repayment.
My Wali told me that it is better to marry a non muslim man than a bad muslim.(and he was saying that to me as a non muslim woman thinking of marrying a muslim man) My Wali also told me if I marry a man that is serious in his deen I would never find a better husband. Just because a man claims a religion doens't means he is a good person. So just because your friend doesn't drink or gamble isn't necessarily an indication of his goodness.
Anyway, best of wishes as ultimately you will have to decide
what is best for you.
20th June 2006 04:24 #13Originally Posted by Gardenia
21st June 2006 12:19 #14Registered User
Originally Posted by Gardenia
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- Jul 2005
i am algerian too, but i have been living in london for 5 years, so i kind of grew up here (im only 22 now) but i keep close contact with my relatives left in algeria. well let me tell you well done for your comment, i totally agree with you because i am on the other side, in england, seeing foreign women who married algerian men and most of them concentrate on wearing the scarve (hijab), making babies and being good mothers, forgetting the most important things, being a professional woman and somebody useful to this society. i do not blame these women because i think their husbands gave them the wrong idea about what an algerian woman should be. their husbands are giving them examples of their mothers, who are old house wives, their husbands are not usually engineers, doctors, architects...etc and therefore, they do not know what a professional woman is. these women they might say they are working, but doing what? if it wasn't for paying the rent and all other bills, they wouldnt even work. these foreign women only take jobs which do not require higher education, and which are not generally in big companies (appologies for the exceptions though) but only take jobs with limited requirements for academic knowledge and professionalisme.
anyway, this thread is about men, not women, so i think algerian men have only 2 categories: those educated, from good well known families, who have an aim in their lives, and are usually proper gentlemen, very respectful, and very open minded. the second category, is common people, just as in the UK you have the non highly educated mid class men, and they share similar profiles, no proper ambitions in life, except having a beautiful wife (no matter what they made you think, these guys look at the look first!) and having a child who can keep their name and enough money to buy a house and eat.
now, it depends on the woman really, how do you want your algerian man to be? you can model it as you want, make him a gentleman if he has the pre-requestics, or let him be a giza if he is a common person.
one more remarque, algerian men are far from being religious, they have sex and drink alcohol whenever the opportunity comes and then once married, pretend to be religious. well i dont blame mistakes, but i think when these men came to europe, they were mature enough to know what s halal and what s haram, so if they chose to take the haram once in their lives, they might do it again.
finally, my personal opinion is that i would only marry an algerian man, weld blady (son of my country) let s just hope he is from category 1, which is the gentleman who would complete what im building in my life, and who would be both open minded and a good soul.
good luck to all of usMiss NinaGucci says: The Grass is Always Greener on The Other Side Of the Fence