Why she won't wear the hijab

[BACK2MYROOTS]

A conversation by Muslim sisters, for Muslim sisters.

I came across this ‘discussion’ recently. I felt I should share it with my Alg.com sisters.[Please, don’t shoot the messenger though!]

For years, I held the view that hijab was oppressive to women and actively discouraged my sisters not to wear it [Not that they listened!]. Now I know, no one should tell anyone what to wear or not to wear, especially when it is linked to faith. See what you make of this dialogue. Men would do well to stay out of it, including myself.

Why She Won't Wear the Hijab!

Latifa: I'm so tired."
Aisha: "Tired of what?"
"Of all these people judging me."
"Who is judging you?"
"Like Sofia, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."
"Oh, hijab and music! The mothers of all topics!"
"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab... haha!"

"Maybe she was just giving you advice."
"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"
"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."
"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."
"But it's her duty to encourage you to do good."
"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good'?"
"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."
"Says who?"
"The Quran."
"Yes. She did quote me something."
"She said Surat Annour, and other places in the Quran."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."
"True. But big things start with small things."
"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good heart."
"What you wear is not important?"
"That's what I said."
"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"
"What do you mean?"
"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair etc."
"So?"
"So, your appearance IS important."
"No. I said wearing hijab is not important for my religion."
"Not important? So, why is it mentioned in the Holy Quran?"
"I can’t follow everything that is in the Quran."
"You mean Allah tells you to do something, you disobey and that’s OK?"
"Allah is forgiving."
"Allah forgives those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."
"Says who?"
"Says the same book that tells you to cover."
"But I don't like hijab; it limits my freedom."
“So the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What's your definition of freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is doing whatever I like to do."
"No. Freedom means doing the right thing."
"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."
"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."
"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"
"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"
"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it and wants me to remove it?"
"What if your husband wants you to go out with him to rob a bank?!"
"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."
"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would employ me?"
"A company that respects people for who they are."
"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"
"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heels and lipstick colours?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying Allah in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight jeans..."
"That's called 'fashion', you live in a cave or something? Hijab was invented by men to control women."
"Really? How did we miss that? What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"
"Well, that's different."
"How different? Sofia, the girl who asked you to wear hijab... she is a young woman, right?"
"Right, but..."
"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying..."
"Saying what? You think that men control women by forcing them to wear hijab?"
"Yes."
"Specifically how?"
"By telling women how and what to wear!"
"Don't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be 'attractive'?"
"Of course, it's fashion."
"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear? Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like the women on the cover of magazines, by men who design them and sell the products they want you to buy."
"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."
"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men... and then here comes Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul etc."
"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"
"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumerism."

"Ok, I’ve had enough lecturing. I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward and outdated. Besides,I am only 20. I’m too young to wear hijab!"
"Fine. Say that to Allah when you face Him on Judgment Day."
"Fine. You’re making me feel really bad, so shut up; I don't want to hear anymore about hijabs. I just want to be left alone now”

---------------------------------------------------------------

The end makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn’t it?

[Al-khiyal]

Original source of this unattributed material:

Why she won't wear hijab!
A discussion by A.Q. Alidost

The 'discussion' does not end at the point where it is truncated in the post above.

Here is the original, unshortened ending:

....."Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"

"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."

"Fine."

"Fine."

[Silence]

"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab !"

[Silence]

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time.

Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society - but rejected by the Faith:

"Yes!" - to curls on the hair - "No!" - to hijab!

"And he (/she) is indeed a failure who corrupts it [the soul]!"
[Holy Quran 91:10]

Subhana'Allah!!!

"Nay! You prefer the life of this world; While the hereafter is better and more lasting."
[Holy Quran: 87:16-17]

"You are the best community (Ummah) raised up for (the benefit of) humanity; enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong and believing in Allah."
[Holy Quran: 3:110]

A significant omission, but probably it was not the message that the poster wished to place here for consideration.

[Desert winds]

asslam alaikum
this is the work of the shaytaan- he is trying to put us off-
let me tell you when i first started wearing it- everyone told me my face was sticking out- i looked strange- everyone told me to stop wearing the jilbab they missed my jeans etc- but alhamdolillah all is well - the strong point is to be in the masjid in your free time- you will get your heads straight girls- come on- cover those hair and save it for your man.

[salma]

Where did you find that back2myroots??

It was a really interesting conversation and YES it was uncomfortable.

I have not been Muslim all my life, but from what I can see the argument against hijab seems to come back to whether it really does say to cover your hair in Quran...some people don't seem to think it does say that..just to cover your chest. It makes it very hard when you have some saying it says to wear a scarf and others not.

When I go to the mosque here we have some who cover and some who don't - at the mosque. Those who don't are mainly, though not all, Pakistani Muslims. Sometimes they wear a scarf draped, but they fall down all the time and sometimes they are see thru anyway. So I have friends who cover and friends who don't, but I actually try not to bring this up with them. To avoid conversations like the one you posted perhaps!

[salma]

asslam alaikum
this is the work of the shaytaan- he is trying to put us off-
let me tell you when i first started wearing it- everyone told me my face was sticking out- i looked strange- everyone told me to stop wearing the jilbab they missed my jeans etc- but alhamdolillah all is well - the strong point is to be in the masjid in your free time- you will get your heads straight girls- come on- cover those hair and save it for your man.

Yes Desert winds there are always so many people to tell you that you are doing the wrong thing. Someone in my famliy was so disappointed..."I'm going to miss your hair" she told me!! My hair?? What about my personality I thought...it's still around.

Even now some of my hijab wearing friends will comment on how it's really good to wear bright hijabs with patterns etc etc. They say that people here in the west respond better to you that way. I wear darker block colours - so essentially they are telling me that I'm wearing it in a way that they don't like or don't agree with. So even when you do cover you still have to put up with even Muslims not being happy with you. Like you mentioned desert winds, with people trying to discourage you from wearing it! Alhamdulillah you did what you thought was correct.

I know that for many young women it's really important to them to be attractive to men and they simply can't give that up. Even recently a girl I know said to me outright that she couldn't cover because she knows it wouldn't last - she dresses for men and to look good.

[BACK2MYROOTS]

salma, if you're interested in this, 2 sites highly recommended 4 you: http:/www.turntoislam.com and http:/muxlim.com. Try them now. You'll thank me for it. Below is a reaction of some interest to U perhaps?

"Alhamdulillah I have been Muslima since... happily married to my husband (a true blessing from Allah subhana wa t3ala) since .... Hmm...what else ...? I do wear niqab, and I'm not interested in anyone's arguments against it **Please do not contact me if you plan on being rude. Chances are, I care about my nails waaaay more than I care about you, so don't waste your time "


PS: Muxlim have an 'image area' where you can post all sorts of pictures. Flick through it and you'll find some amazingly cool, fashionable hijabs!! [If not for you, then for your friends who are afraid of hijab]

I am not even a practising Muslim!!!

[salma]

Thank you for the tips. I don't know turn to islam so I will check it out. Muxlim.com I do know. I probably don't need to check out styles. I went through all that in my first year as a Muslim and I have really just settled now - it's easy for me - same style every day, large bit of fabric in plain colours. For me, no need to jazz it up :P

Hmm...are you trying to draw me in to a discussion on niqab??? LOL

I wonder how long had that woman been married for? I'd love to know.