Would you marry him?

[Zahoo]

Ahlame, I am truly surprised at your post. Having read your poems and though that you were like many of us an incurably romantic. I must tell you that peace of mind will not come without being convinced 100% that you have married the right guy.

To tell you the truth after a decade with my husband I’m beginning to wonder if I want to continue my life with him or there must be a better life out there for me? Where is the peace of mind in here?

[newyorker2]

I think Mourad is right respect and trust are keys to every long lasting relationship: love, friendship, coworkers, etc...
Sometimes intellectual level differences won't matter to the woman if the one she loves isn't the same level as her but the guy's ego wouldn’t allow him to be happy in their union. Some people think that levels matter may be they r right but may be they r not.
i guess love is like buying a new pair of shoes; u find the nicest pair, great color, perfect shape u r in love with it and it's the best deal u ever had shopping in so long u very exited and can't wait to wear it for that special night. Which u finally get to do. However, at the end of the night your feet don't belong to u anymore. u've got the worst blister. u can't feel your toes. u r covered with band aids and have to wear flip flaps for a week because it won't heal. Was it worth ? Some say yes? Would u wear it again? i don't think so it would end up in the back of your closet where you wouldn’t want to see again. I think being comfortable is what makes every day life easy to cope with.
U have to go with what's dear to your heart knowing that u can always go back to it. Cause it will always be there. u have to feel good in your shoes they will carry u a long way.

[Jannah]

There are some very uncomfortable shoes

[Ruks]

this is to daloula - about your friend - why does she think that her marriage was the biggest mistake in her life? Sometimes opposites attract? why did she marry the man in the first place- surely there must have been some respect and attracttion in the begining - didn't she know that he was quiet from the start?

Look at his quietness as a positive - if one of the partners is chatty at least they know the other one will listen- without interrupting- LOL

but, just because she hasn't got a child does that mean her marriage is worthless or the man is worthless? why don't they adopt if they are OK with that? it's so easy to say that the person you married is the wrong person - and people are quick to forget why you married that person in the first place.

Perhaps, both individuals in the marriage are going through personal depression or something else.

i was talking to a friend of mine the other day - she wants to leave her husband(they have been married for 8years) -i advised her not too - she didn't realise that her husband was going through depression and she wasn't helping him or herself. and i didn't think that she had exhausted all the practical avenues she could have utilised, she realised what i was saying and is giving it a go, and if it doesn't work then at least she tried. The key is she wants to make a go of the marriage and is willinging to try and fail.

my point is sometimes we just forget the whole picture and look at what is best for indviduals and forget that marriage is a partnership and needs so much work and compromise. But you also need to know when to get out too.

I don't think marriage is about degrees and stuff - unless that is important to you- the character should be paramount -decide what is marriage for you and why you want to get married in the first place and what kind of person will suit your character-someone the same or someone with different qualities?