Would you mary someone if your familly disapproves?

[NinaGucci]

this is not about listening to your parents, or being a good child. think only about your life and tell me what you think.
would you listen to all those NOs! full stop, no reason, no explanations to the happiness of your life, or would you stand up and say what you fell and think.
would you explain to your parent who doesnt believe in feelings, would you argument just by saying "i love him"? what if you didnt have good financial reasons to marry that man? what if that man didnt have much to offer financially but had all his soul to offer to you? how would you explain this to somebody who doesnt belive in "Love without any profits"?
God ordered us to listen to our parents and do what they want, but do we always listen to our parents when they cant see what we see? do we listen to them blindely? do we choose to spend the rest of our lives miserable just because we listened to our parents?(please do not say you will never be unhappy if you always listen to your parents!)
give me some sophisticated thoughts please, not traditional algerian manuscripts of how good we should behave with our parents because it doesnt work in all situations.

[Lotfi-]

You know, its you who’s getting married not your parents, if you find your self happy and comfortable with your partner then surely you should stand up, parents usually look at the family side, education, religion.

sometimes you just have to take it your own way...

[NinaGucci]

Originally posted by Lotfi-
You know, its you who’s getting married not your parents, if you find your self happy and comfortable with your partner then surely you should stand up, parents usually look at the family side, education, religion

i wasnt talking about myself!! and believe me, it s a lot more complicated than what you re saying.

[Lotfi-]

I personally have a similar problem and it involves with my parents, its nothing that got to do with marriage, all I can say that it was so difficult that I had to go their way,

[Amina-DZ]

Respect for parents is important but when it comes to personal decisions, communication is vital. You want to have your parents' opinions but they shouldn't impose them on you. At the end of the day, they only care about your hapiness but they should rather explain in a civilised way why they think so and so is good or bad.

I know of some parents who would decide for their grown up children, and our society does influence people's decisions and force them to give up some of their freedom of choice. It's sad!

[Amina-DZ]

Originally posted by NinaGucci
would you argument just by saying "i love him"? what if you didnt have good financial reasons to marry that man? what if that man didnt have much to offer financially but had all his soul to offer to you? how would you explain this to somebody who doesnt belive in "Love without any profits"?

I think an important decision shouldn't be based on feelings alone. So no I would never marry someone simply because I have feelings for him. And no it's not about profits.

[Al-khiyal]

There are other things to be considered apart from the immediate 'problem' with a conflict with parents.

Issues like 'his financial position' are not actually so important, if he has ambition and self-respect he will be someone who is willing to persevere and improve his situation in that regard so a temporary 'bad' financial position and all the worries about security that go with it can easily vanish in time.

A greater difficulty is going ahead with a marriage that leads to a break with family. I have seen this, and it is very sad for all concerned. A family might break apart with different sides being taken and people becoming estranged from each other's lives. Or the family might present a united front and cut all contact with the newly married couple - I have seen examples of both.

The loss of family, and the love and support it can offer through a lifetime, is no small thing. To lose touch with parents, brothers, sisters, to be excluded from the growing of nephews, nieces et cetera, these are heavy prices to pay.

Parents care and wish happiness for their children and are unlikely to be strongly opposed to a choice without having, as they see it, good reasons. They have some wisdom and so it would be best to take their objections one by one and see if they can be addressed and answered in a way that puts the minds of the parents at ease.

But what if their concerns have merit? 'You and me against the world' may sound romantic but a world without family is a cold and lonely place indeed.