Family council

[Al-khiyal]

Family council

Something happened to me this week end, a very irritating “family council”.

A few weeks ago, I decided to accept a job offer in Europe, I signed a contract and I’m going there on September. This was an important decision for me, not an easy one. But I’m old enough and have some experience and I know exactly what I’m looking for and what are the consequences of such decision.

However, some people in my family didn’t have the same opinion about that. The most important detail you have to keep in mind is that my parents didn’t know about this “council”, they weren’t invited and had nothing to do with it. They’ve always respected all my choices and encouraged me to do what I really want to do.

So, on Saturday, I was invited by my aunt and her husband to go see them and have a little “discussion”. I knew from the beginning that they were going to talk about my leaving home, and all day long I was like “Oh God ! I know what they are going to tell me, I don’t want to hear that, please leave me alone! … I have to stay calm …” … and I was right!

I give you a sample: ” You know you’re 27 … time to have a family of your own … if you go there, you won’t be able to come back … what will to do? … your job is not the only thing that matters … you will be alone … you have to find a husband … a TUNISIAN husband … are you ready to marry someone who is not tunisian ? … is it alright for you ? … you must be careful, don’t hurry … if it is an algerian ‘blablabla’ … if it is a moroccan ‘blablabla’ … if he is french ‘blablabla’ … maybe a german … but the best for you is a tunisian … ”

I was trying to stay calm, but inside, I was like “LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOD’S SAKE !!! I’m 27 ! yes 27 !! which means I’m not a child, I’m able to think about the consequences of my decisions and make a choice by myself. You don’t know a thing about me, my job, my relationships, what I want to do. My parents never tried to tell me what I have to do … I would have accepted a question or two just to be sure that I know what I’m doing, but you don’t have the right to interrogate me this way … it is an intrusion in my private life !!! … and what the hell are talking about? why is it always about weddings and couples ?? why are we talking about marriage in the first place? it is MY life!!”

Anyway, I tried to explain my point of view and let them know I’m really sure about my decision and that they don’t have to worry … but God why do I have to answer to that ???

Why people don’t respect our personal decisions? why do they think they have the right to give an advice about everything ? why are they so sure that they thought about the problems more than we did? why do we have to talk about marriage just because we are 20-something ? And why are we obliged to discuss the nationality of our future husband or wife even before knowing them ?

So much questions and I don’t know the answer !!

by Nadia

[Cheba_Mami]

I recognize the above text very much, but as am quite a rebbel with a look in my eyes that nobody dares to say that again. That look in my eyes said enough plus my rolleyes and highhearted smile. they won't try that anohter time. like i wanted to say ' what do you know about my life, you can't even name my favourite food and ya tellin me what man is suitable for me? Go to the moon and tell him how to shine and don't return! '

but that also made me impolite.
wel.... ehm..... why should i care that much.

Well Nadia, do not be as impolite as i have been, just explain you're old enough to know and also tell it is no use of discussing this again and again. (i did that many times, but once i comletely freaked out).

Everyone has their own destiny. And there are many who do not believe in destiny, they rely on their carefull planning. That can be rewarding too.

[Bent_Bladi]

And why are we obliged to discuss the nationality of our future husband or wife even before knowing them ?

looool!!! yes? why??!!

girls go to desperate measures when it comes to marriage... especially when their parents are nagging them w/ the "time to settle down" excuse........ i have stories but i'd be attacked if i shared them

[Cheba_Mami]

first they r nagging if youre late because of a secret boyfriend ( that would not even cross my heart! )

then they r nagging for not having any and arrangement after arrangement. and nothing totally maches. well it does, but then the style or looks don't mach

i was speeking in general

Will we become such parrents too?

[Bent_Bladi]

Will we become such parrents too?

NEVEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!