How can you know?

[Anonymous]

I understand all men are not the same but I hope to ask some Algerian women about Algerian men from what they've seen of men in their teenage years until adulthood, how can you really tell his intentions? What do they do and lie about then marry you and have it as a deep dark secret. Is there really a such thing as a pure algerian man? Do they come from secret parts of algeria like little villages? If this offends an algerian woman cuz i see they get offended if many questions are asked but i am very very curious and hope to know; my husband wont stop contacting me and is threatening to kill himself and his family is calling me to say sorry i felt this way about them. I really hope to clear the intentions of everybody. Love is blind so I'm seeking an outsiders opinion Algerian woman preferrably
Thank you all.

[Anonymous]

I see in some posts that they said algerian men are very secretive. i always pushed my husband to tell me everything and he did then apologized i really hope to know how algerian men are to understand them.

[Ruks]

if you're getting a divorce, what does all this matter? besides, i think you said that you're 19 years old, if so you have the rest of your life to get on with - i'm sorry i don't want to appear without empathy - but i doubt if people here can answer the questions that you really are seeking - unless someone here knows your husband and his family.

girl, you need to focus and concentrate on your future. there are better things out there.

[Anonymous]

i have everything in control, i am studying dentistry i am in 2nd year college and work in dentists office. I am married and i dont believe in divorce and love only come one time everybody know this. Just because i am young i still have morals and he is my husband and i gave my body to him and only him. Something like this i think through for no mistakes to happen. I don't just look to divorce and ok thats it. Only ignorant woman can say ok divorce and thats it and no compassion to be like what God said to understand and care for people even if they do you wrong. I am 19 years but i have alot of wisdom to run my life. I just wanted to understand algerian men more from an algerian womans perspective

[Ruks]

sorry i thought i had read somewhere that you were getting a divorce - my mistake.

getting a divorce doesn't mean that you are ignorant or didn't place any effort in the relationship - getting a divorce usually comes about when all other avenues have been exhausted and you know the relationship isn't going anywhere.

although i have too say, within the British muslim communities, the rate is going up - the couples i know, got married really young and had unrealistic expectations of marriage and of the other person. Marriage is rarely about romance and looking through tinted glasses.

[Bent_Bladi]

Salams Anonymous - I'm not Algerian bas I can tell you that every human on earth is different. Every man is different. There isn't one definition of a man. Maybe those funny stereotypes that we sometimes say in jokes - bas in reality each one is different.

I think the best way to tell who they are is to look at his parents. Ask his siblings how they were raised.

I don't know if this makes sense - but sometimes if your husband's intentions are wrong, you get a "feeling". Whenever you get these "feelings" you should tell them to your husband and discuss what might be wrong. Otherwise if you keep it to yourself, mistrust will start to form in your heart and everything will start to fall apart.

If I were you, I wouldn't go back to a "man" who's threatening to kill himself. And from another one of your posts, you said that he started calling you names and beating you. Let me tell you this: if a woman stays with a man who beats her and brings her down then she is humiliating and disrespecting herself. A woman is worth more than that and she will not tolerate being treated like cattle.

I understand that you may be attached to him and leaving him seems unreal. But if he isn't treating you right - then don't waste your life with him. Divorce is not haram - but what is haram is torturing yourself by staying with an abusive man.

You say love can only come once - mmm - I say love comes and goes as Allah wants it to. If Allah has planned for us to fall in love and then out, then then in love with another person - then that's what'll happen. Allah did say for us to love people and to forgive - but not at our own expense. Love and care for a husband is different than love and care for a neighbor or an orphan.

Bismillah MashaAllah, you seem very smart and you're on a path to a strong career. If your current marriage doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. You'll be hurt, yes. He'll be hurt, yes. There'll be lots of tension. But you'll get over it. Human in Arabic is "insan". Insan comes from "forget". So Allah obviously named us that because we are forgetful creatures. We forget past pains and if we have patience, Allah will reward us and grant us a higher place in Jannah.

Wow - enough rambling from me ... take care
~BB

[Anonymous]

no you are very wise woman bent_bladi