Algerian weddings: unique, expensive and highly competitive

[Al-khiyal]

Algerian weddings: unique, expensive and highly competitive

August 29, 2008 -- "Love is madness. It makes huge dents in your wallet." This is how 30-year-old Nabil sums up the situation of engaged couples in Algeria.

Before they can be married, Algerian brides and grooms go through traditional steps…and spend a great deal of money.

First, the suitor asks for the girl's hand, which happens in a gathering of the two families in the girl's house; both families negotiate the dowry and discuss what and how many "gifts" the groom will bring his wife-to-be. Then, after the business-style negotiations are over and both parties are satisfied, the couple is considered engaged.

Before the wedding is over, both families will have stretched their finances to the limit.

"Marriage costs an arm and a leg," said Lila, who will soon be a new bride. She has already spent 400,000 dinars [about 40,000 euros] for her wedding. "I've done my best to cut down on expenses and avoid wasting money," she added, "but it's an impossible task. Families put a lot of pressure on you."

She spent 100,000 dinars to hire a wedding venue and 150,000 dinars to buy six traditional outfits to wear for the party, plus cakes and dinner for 200 people. She has also set aside a tidy sum for her trousseau of blankets, sheets, bedspreads, curtains, pyjamas and lingerie.

Traditionally, the clothes were made and embroidered by the bride herself as a sign of commitment to her new life. Now, it's easier to buy everything.

"It's a case of keeping up appearances", Lila said, "a kind of competition to outdo others by making everything bigger, better and more expensive. That's still the most exciting part of wedding preparations. People enjoy buying all these things."

Modern life has made many Algerian wedding traditions obsolete. In the old days, guests gathered at the family home of the bride or the groom. Now, with guest lists often running over 200 people and with no time to make home-made desserts and food, caterers and wedding halls have come to the rescue.

There are now shops renting out traditional apparel such as the karakou, traditionally worn in Constantine, or the chedda of Tlemcen. Couples no longer have to make or buy traditional outfits.

Traditions vary from one region to the next. The most lavish ceremonies are to be found in Tlemcen, the capital of the Zianids, where weddings can cost up to half a million dinars. It is customary for the groom to give the bride an item of jewellery that can cost up to 100,000 dinars. The bride’s family gives presents to the groom’s parents.

Every member of the family, in fact, gets presents.

In Kabylia, on the other hand, the dowry is usually symbolic and there is no tradition of asking the husband-to-be for expensive gifts.

"I know weddings cost a lot of money," said 28-year-old Mokrane, who is getting married within days. "But the wonderful memories stay with you for life. You only get married once."

"Algerian weddings are an expression of the generosity characteristic of this country," Mokrane added. "People like to share their happiness with everyone."

[Bent_Bladi]

wow... that's a lot of money.

it's kinda like indian weddings - my friend told me about a family she knew who spent SO much on the wedding (dude, the bride and groom made an entrance on an elephant decked in gold...) that they had to live with their parents cuz they couldn't afford rent anymore =/

[Felicity]

I always had the view that if you show off too much, then others will become jealous, and that will lead to bad things... also, spending that much on one day, to me, shows disrespect (not sure if i mean that, but I mean something along those lines) to money and poverty that others have to live with. And why does the woman need to have 150,000 DA spent on her dresses??????????? I think people need to go online and shop things from ebay (or some kind of Algerian version).


Though i love the line 'In Kabylia, on the other hand, the dowry is usually symbolic and there is no tradition of asking the husband-to-be for expensive gifts' - this is how it should be. But i suppose in those cases there is always the arguement of what happens if the couple end up divorcing...

Its all very complicated!

[Bent_Bladi]

yeah it is...

they should just jump off a plane.........

.....

[nesreen]

I agree overspending is not a good idea , but to the parents and the older generation , the more you spend (even if you borrow money) it shows your position in the society and people in algeria tend to gossip a lot , and tend to count the dresses of the bride , and the number of dishes and whether it was almonds and not Peanuts used in the cookies , etc.. so the more you show off the more people tend to speak highly of you /
I wish the parents gave all that money to the young couple to furnish their apartment and leave some money in their bank account .

I bought my dress in London at Pronuptia and i remember feeling sad i had to spend so much but my in laws insisted it had to be that shop . my parents bought me about a dozen dresses and the embroidered dress (ksantina ) and sarwal with jacket that I wore only ONCE in my life , (never wore them again . what a waste )

[Ruks]

i think overspending is silly, unless you have the means to do so, then good luck to you. But asian weddings are expensive all the family members need to be given gifts - and they have to be expensive.

i kept within my budget for my wedding - although my hubby couldn't and still owes some money to his family for the wedding.

my day went so fast, i barely remember it! LOL - although i have worn my wedding outfit again - to another person's wedding and i didn't realise at the time all eyes were on my outfit instead of hers!

[nesreen]

all the family members need to be given gifts - and they have to be expensive.

in my family, the family don't get gifts but cash from the bridegroom , so my mother went and brought a dozen old ladies who are the closest to her and they came to greet my husband (who is from an indian culture and had no idea about our customs but i had prepared him the day before) and he was giving each of them lots of money, but thank god he did not mind. He did it for me .

my in-laws were very generous thank god so we did not owe anyone anything . They even paid for our honeymoon in fabulous Goa at the Oberoi Taj .