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  1. #22
    Tasha is offline Registered User
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    Thanks BACK2MYROOTS for the kind words. I know we will be very happy together. It has it's challenges being with someone from such a different cultural and religious background but it also makes it so much more fun and interesting.

    Going back to the topic of this post. I am not a muslim and knew nothing about the religion until I met my partner. He lets me ask the questions about the religion and just tells me the facts he knows. I know it would make him happy for me to convert, not for his own gratification but for what he believes will happen to me on judgement day. I have found that the more I am with him the more I am interested in the religion, the more questions I ask and the more informed I get. Think this is the way it happens for a lot of converts with muslim partners although there will always be people who think that converts are pushed into it, shame! So you never know one day I may, I will follow whatevers in my heart. It's definitely something you should be 100% sure about and happy with.

  2. #23
    BACK2MYROOTS is offline Quarantined Users
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    Question Converting 'as a condition' before marriage

    Thanks for the above anwers Shotokan and gn4dz

    I wonder if you could give me your views on an issue which has been bothering me for years. It's about me again, so if you're bored with my stories, don't read on ( I mean it nicely).

    We're talking years back. Before my relationship became serious with my late wife, it became very clear to her that I was having cold feet and rightly or wrongly that I had no intention to marry her, even though I cared very much for her. Out of desperation, she said she was prepared to do anything for me to make an honest woman of her, ie marry her. She said she was even prepared to convert, if that's what it takes. I answered almost without thinking, ''No, don't convert to please me'', then I went ahead and married her as a catholic.

    Was I wrong?


    B2MR

  3. #24
    Shotokan_Karate is offline Registered User
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    Well, it's hard to say brother. If she was a mushrika then technically, yes it was wrong. But it's very hard to define who's truly a believing "Christian/Catholic" in these modern times. Most I encounter just put themselves under the label "Christian". It's just a title for them, nothing more, nothing less. Some who identify themselves as "Christians" don't even believe in their own Bible!
    Then you have the stereotypical Christian, belief in Trinity, church every Sunday, Lent and so on. Then you have those who appear as stereotypical Christians on the surface, but deep down do not believe that Isa (Jesus) (May peace be upon him) is God or the son of God and so only worship Allah alone. These are the closest to Islam, and therefore permissible for Muslim men to marry W'Allahu A3lam.

    In your case akhi, the fact that she suggested to convert just for you (which of course would've been wrong) says a lot about the condition of her own faith. So only Allah knows akhi, He is the ultimate Judge and only He knows the true intentions of people and their Imaan (faith).

    Remember, and I stress, this is only my opinion. W'Allahu A3lam.

  4. #25
    Muslimah23 is offline Registered User
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    Muslim men are allowed to marry women from "The People of the Book" i.e. believing Christians and Jews. There are conditions though which many people are unaware of or choose to ignore unfortunately such as they must not be mushrikoon i.e. those who associate partners with Allah (swt) or a form of such e.g. the Trinity or other religions such as those you mentioned.
    Good point. The Qura'an is specific in that it states that the woman must be 'believing' and 'chaste'. Actually most of the scholars say that a man is not allowed to marry women from 'the people of the book' who live in Western countries since the Christianity and Judaism that is practised now is a distorted version.

  5. #26
    BACK2MYROOTS is offline Quarantined Users
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    most of the scholars say that Muslim men are not allowed to marry women from 'the people of the book' who live in Western countries since Christianity and Judaism practised now are distorted versions.
    That's quite depressing.

    Would it be fair to say that so-called el-3ulama tend to live in a world of their own?
    Wouldn't it be better to say look this is what the teachings say. As long as you strive to fulfil them, you're ok.
    In general, people do settle down after a few years and follow tariq al-mustaqim. Don't you think?

    Wallahu ghafoorun raheemun, inshallah...

  6. #27
    Shotokan_Karate is offline Registered User
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    I personally don't find that "depressing" and I actually agree with them on this point. For me, this ruling is not only because of the degree of distortion of Christianity and Judaism as they are for us distorted paths anyway, but also because of the entourage you are likely to live and bring up your kids in.

    In Islam, great importance is given to taking responsibility and thinking through the consequences of your own actions.

    If you already have opposing non-muslim views in your own household, add to that the non-muslim environment you live in, it can become very overwhelming for yourself and your kids to say the least, and the Nafs (soul) can easily sway to imitate and fit in that environment and so the likelihood of following Attariq al-mustaqim becomes very slim.

    In any case, that environment is there to stay, so it remains a challenge, but with both Muslim parents acting as role models at least you have a strong base to begin with, and with good education you have a better chance of bringing up good Muslim kids. After all, we do want the best for them. And there lies a huge test of faith.

    Your next statement...
    Quote Originally Posted by BACK2MYROOTS View Post
    Would it be fair to say that so-called el-3ulama tend to live in a world of their own?
    ...has some truth in it I must say and I agree with you there.


    Quote Originally Posted by BACK2MYROOTS View Post
    In general, people do settle down after a few years and follow tariq al-mustaqim. Don't you think?
    Life is too short (as you were saying ) Live it to the...best of ways!

    W'Allahu A3lam

  7. #28
    Muslimah23 is offline Registered User
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    ^^I agree with the above post. I think religious compatibility is extremely important in a marriage. Marrying someone outside of your religion can generate alot of conflict bewteen a couple especially where children are involved. How can children be given a good tarbiyah when the mother is not a muslimah?

    As far as im aware, there is no evidnce of the prophet (pbuh) and the sahabahs marrying from 'ahle-kitab'

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