+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 22 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4 5 6 14 ... LastLast
Results 22 to 28 of 150
  1. #22
    salma is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    143
    Salaam Felicity. Your are right, it is interesting, very.

    The basic answer is 'not long'. It didn't take long for it to be mentioned and it didn't take long for it to become the plan. InshAllah we'll be married within about 8 months of getting to know each other.

    Of course both of us are Muslim and you are totally correct in what you've been told by your husband and the Imam. It is much better to find someone nice and good and marry. That way you are less tempted to lead the sort of life that is not acceptable for Muslims. Sex outside marriage is not on; we aren't supposed to have boyfriends, girlfriends etc and go down that road. Even certain subjects are not up for discussion prior to marriage, plus no touching, no being alone together etc etc.

    So, while I am not talking with a great deal of personal experience behind me (as I am a revert/convert not a born muslim), I do think that for practising Muslims it's likely to be a shorter time than for your average western couple. Not always, but often. We're all different afterall.

    I don't think you mentioned how long it was before the 'marriage' thing came up for you, nor how long you were engaged for. I'd love to know

  2. #23
    BeeMyBaby is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    316
    it came up about 3 months in (probably earlier actually) and we were finally legally married after about 18 months, though would have done it legally quicker if we'd been able to, and if my mother had given permission sooner, also if the Algerian system didn't take 4 months to give its permisssion *fluffs feathers up in anoyance*

  3. #24
    salma is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    143
    Felicity, it's amazing how many 'road blocks' seem to be put in our way when it comes to intercountry (not sure if I made that word up) marriages. I can't believe the process so far. Every step is made difficult. I understand that we must have a process, but I think it's sad for genuine couples to have to go through so much hardship just to be together, even though it will be worth it in the end.

    I'm happy that you two did manage to navigate the process and I wish you the very best in your life together.

    It's a shame a few more people haven't added their story on this topic.

  4. #25
    Tasha is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    36
    Salma, of course Aussies are aloud to sneak in

    t's just a shame I can't speak to his family rather than speaking through him but inshallah one day I might be able to but as all native speakers of English would I'm sure agree it's not at all easy. I am not a revert Salma but I have been learning about islam. I wouldn't rule out the idea in the future.

  5. #26
    Tasha is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    36
    Quote Originally Posted by amalgamate View Post
    You've been with your partner 6 years? wow. and he hasn't popped the question? why the lengthy wait if you don't mind mind me asking?
    Well we did consider a few years back getting married in an Islamic way but we decided to wait as I wanted to do the legal English wedding at the same time. He is applying for his indefinate stay at the mo which is something we wanted to sort out before hand (and something he wants to do on his own, not because he married me. I was also a 20 year old partying student when we met so I needed to mature alot before becoming someones wife. I could go on bacause there really are 101 reasons but I won't bore you all. When he gets all his papers sorted I think will be when we tie the not so should be 2 years max

  6. #27
    salma is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    143
    Yes the language thing is tricky. I've started to learn a few words in French and do plan to make more of an effort. I am told Arabic is difficult to learn, French obviously is easier. I don't want to have to wait too many years before I can speak with his immediate family - most of whom don't speak English at all.

  7. #28
    Tasha is offline Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    36
    Yeah French is defanatly much, much easier. I'm ok with very simple French and lucky for me his 3 brothers all speak English but it's a shame I can't chat to the rest of his family specially as we chat over webcam. His mum speaks only Arabic and Berber, no French so I'm definatly gunna have to try my dest to learn Arabic. It's a shame I wasn't brought up speaking French (which my parents speak) at least I would be half way there. It's such a shame as already I can't talk to my mums side of the family as they only speak Italian. I have managed to learn about 40 Arabic words so guess it's a start

+ Reply to Thread
Page 4 of 22 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4 5 6 14 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts