A new chapter, and he is Algerian

[jawhar]

hello,
as weird as it is for me to be writing this or even visiting this website in the first place, yet i thought yeaaaaah why not.
I'm Lebanese that's to begin with; i own and manage an advertising agency. Hello my name is Jawhar and I’m a workaholic
Due to my field of studies and my filed of work, i travel a lot, and have a huge PR network, where PR is a major asset in my domain.
I have been into many forums, and some i have even administrated (related to my domain akid), met lots of people and been subjected to many nationalities and people with different backgrounds.
Not a long time ago , i had a msg on a social network from an Algerian guy, specifically asking me to marry him. I smiled and ignored the msg for i couldn't seriously consider such a request from a complete stranger, not even out of curiosity.
Msgs kept on coming, asking me to marry him and giving his word to commitment, after a few weeks i once replied: thank you for your kind request and your well behaved manner, but you surely can't expect me to answer by a yes I DO!
He replied back saying that if i would meet him he would be very honored and he would show me what kind of men he was.
i ignored these msgs for a few days ,while they were piling up my mailbox.
Recently, i told him, I just wanna know, is beauty all what you do care about, if i have a lovely face then yes am the one? and that if he decided i was, what made him think that i would say yes?one line led to another, and we were chatting, he wanted to know everything about me, my education my work my personality.
i thought, he is a nice guy and a well mannered man, there is no harm in being friends; I said to myself.
He told me everything to know about his business, his bank loans, his family etc …and he says he wants to come visit me in Lebanon after eid, so we would meet in person and get engaged.
I told him, it is a free country, you can come, but no way would I approve an engagement.
he calls me generously on a daily basis, and i agreed on getting to know him better, yet i made it clear, that if anything would happen, moving to Algeria is not in my agenda and it will not happen. He says he is ready to relocate if that was my wish and if we saw that we are a good match. He is asking me, how much money I need if I want to get my business bigger, so he would invest and stay in Lebanon.
I have never had any kind of a relationship (business or social)with an Algerian, yet i had a Tunisian friend for a long time and that's why i can understand him perfectly when he speaks to me on the mobile for i find the two slangs are pretty much similar, and maybe the culture as well.
To tell you the truth, i have no idea about Algerian history, traditions, and way of thinking or people in general. Yet i found him to be a nice gentleman, not that i haven't met any before.
The thing that i constantly tell him when he says that he loves me, that it takes more than a phone call or a chat or even a pic to love somebody, and on several occasions i have told him not to tell me he did or else i'll keep considering him as rush-full.
One of my problems in general with men is: i have never found the one that would fit perfectly, maybe am not old enough, yet my experience in life is pretty much big irrespective to my age, and i think by talking to him, i would be doing something for the first time ever, for i don't do anything similar in my day-to-day life.
This hasn't been going on for long at all maybe two weeks tops ( after i started chatting with him), yet for some reason i found myself searching and inquiring about Algeria while i jumped into this forum.
I donno if i should see him for real, for i don't really wanna make him any promises, and that i made clear. while my parents differ in opinions, one says: ahla w sahla i would meet him , the other says if you are to be with a non- Lebanese, this would affect your life tragically for the social gap between you too, but what they both agree on, is that it is the first time i have ever considered meeting someone this way.
i really find him nice, polite and well behaved yet i'm not sure what to really do. And that is a first to me, Coz i always know what to do
Even if we happen to be a great couple, wouldn't this social gap devours me?, and would it be fair to him (too early to be talking about this,yet if we found that it would work between us), to relocate to Lebanon just to be with me?
He seems to be very strong-minded, and i keep on telling him, that such a decision would be taken not in a few weeks ,maybe in a dozen months.
In conclusion i donno if i'm asking you guys for anything or i'm just interested in comments or any info that may help, and know that usually i'm not a very sharing person (when it comes to total strangers ) yet i insist on trying everything once.
Kind Regards

[jawhar]

Damn! that was a long thread, didn't know i had lots on my mind!

[left2000]

Welcome Jawhar,

I’ll wait till Maghreb time, make myself nice mint tea and sit to read your post inshallah.
I’m sure you’ll be flooded with advice and replies from everyone here. So sit still and get the ball rolling.

Left2000

[nedjma95]

Ahlan Jawhar, keefek habibti? mneeha?

There are a lots of mixed mariages that work, but only time can tell.

You never know with destiny, and the "you never know" part is what makes us wonder what if?

I am a curious person, and I like taking chances, I would personaly meet him in a public safe place and tell somebody about it just to moniter the time for me (I know you're old enough to know but...)

You wont know until you see him, see the chemistry between you two, his face, and see what your gut tells you, then think with your head not your heart, if he is really serious, he should wait as long as you want, test him, push his buttons and see, if he likes you he will put up with, keep your money in your pocket, and don't be charmed right away, basically keep your feel on the ground.

Life is strange, people nowadays meet people in many different ways, so opportunities happen and again you never know

Now that you started keep me posted ok?

Allah ma3ek habibti

Good luck

[jawhar]

hehehhe sa7ten, maghreb time was long ago here, so take your time.

[jawhar]

dear nedjma,
thank you for your reply and ur comments, be sure am not the kinda gal that would be swiped off her feet by a guy, and my problem is that i use my head much much more than i use my heart. so your advice is clearly taken, yet about pushing buttons and stuff, i don't usually do this, but point also taken. thanks again and tc sweety

[Al-khiyal]

Salam, ya Jawhar, welcome to Algeria.com,

If you can find anyone more cynical and dismissive of 'online romances' than I am, I will give you all my money - but I have seen so much abuse, blind obsession, manipulation, deceit, dishonesty, delusion, desperation, disappointment and deranged demeanour that I make the 'offer' in full confidence that my money is quite safe.

That being so, I will make no comment about your 'encounter'. Instead I will offer another observation. I think that the core of your lengthy post is your admission that you are 'a workaholic'. Sometimes in life we look back, and only wisdom and (sometimes painful) experience gives us an insight into why we made certain decisions or choices at various times in the past. Workaholism can be, in its own way, an 'evasion technique' as strong as many other addictions, and an ultra-busy life leaves little time for a genuine personal life, or for meeting oneself in thoughts.

Perhaps your 'encounter' is a wake-up call for you, an invitation to assess the balance of your life. Singlemindedness can be a great asset, when used carefully for particular purposes, but immersion in work can erode the potential for growth in other areas of life too. Perhaps this recent encounter has found an echo in some discontent of your own, and is something that invites you to evaluate what exactly you want, where you want to be, what you want to do and what changes are necessary to achieve a balanced and rewarding set of goals.

You certainly don't have to do any rushing while you do any such evaluation, but do try asking yourself a few hard questions about the origins of any restlessness, or uncertainty you might be feeling. And I am sure you are wise enough to know - no man is a lifeboat