My husband talks to other women and thinks it's OK

[BACK2MYROOTS]

Sisters, I came across this true story a while ago. I feel I should share it with you to see how Algerian women would react to it. It did make me feel uncomfortable.[ I won't say more; it's your corner!]---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

True story


"Salam 3aleikum

I have a big problem and I don't know where to turn.

My husband has been talking to a number of other women, and he thinks it’s ok. I confronted him when I found out about the first one and gave him Islamic advice. For a while he seemed to have changed, but now I find that he has not. He goes on porn sites, chats, phones and even exchanges photos with women. For all I know, he may even be sleeping around. I don't know what else to do. Can anyone give me sincere advice?"

Muslima

These are snapshots of reactions Muslima received, grouped under 6 categories:


(1) “Have you questioned yourself? What you might be doing wrong..? As we need to correct ourselves before others, I can understand you are worried and upset...”
“Sister, there may be something you're not satisfying your husband with.
Before you look at your husband you must check yourself”
“Beautify yourself and show him a cheerful face”


(2) “If your husband is seeking another wife and is speaking with the women to learn more about them for marriage then he may have a just reason, although he may be going about it the wrong way”


(3) “Your husband is being tested by man's greatest fitna, women, and he's not doing well in his test.”
“ He is your husband and he weak so try to help him during this time. Do not turn your back and give up, help him fight against shaytan”

(4) “Make du3a”
“Recite or play suratul baqarah”
“Increase your acts of worship by seeking nearness to Allah and make du3a for him”
“Make du'a to Allah swt to give your husband hidaya and that Allah swt can help you be a better wife and to please your husband.”
“Ask him to think about the judgment day... du3a is the best solution”


(5) “..Sit him down and talk with him”
“Ask him to put himself in your shoes.How would he feel? Could he even tolerate it?”


(6) “Put your foot down firmly and tell him that you would have to go your separate ways if he does not stop his unfaithfulness”

Which pieces of advice do you agree with and which do you find 'outrageous' ??

[Felicity]

I agree with numero 5, or at least I would agree with 5 if I hadn't bludgeoned him to death first, I find 1 & 2 outrageous. Though i'm not Algerian so...

[Drajah]

1 + 2 are completely crazy. I find it difficult to believe any woman would advise another with that kind of advice. Instead of being offered support, the woman in question's being made insecure, like this is HER fault instead of the lying scumbag who she considered her husband.
Allow talking..first sign of unfaithfulness = out of the house. If he can do it once, he can do it again, so no apology will cover it.

[Al-khiyal]

(1) “Have you questioned yourself? What you might be doing wrong..?

You are not putting enough arsenic in his chorba, ukhti.





(Advice not verified with any religious authority)

[Felicity]

You are not putting enough arsenic in his chorba, ukhti.





(Advice not verified with any religious authority)

loving that response

[Jazaireya4ever]

That's sick, get rid of him, he won't change anyways...

[Cheba_Mami]

What a shame to think it is her fault, it is NOT A WOMAN'S FAULT. THE ONE MAKING THE MISTAKE(S) IS WRONG ! ALWAYS!

OF course, LADIES, be pretty, BE more pretty, most of you already are pretty, be kind be kinder.....but for what in return? dishonesty? etc etc. many women already are beautiful and kind in a way that is TOO MUCH and therefore the guy won't change! and DO NOT BE A DOORMAT TO STEP ON! LET HIM PACK UP IF HE TALKS OR EVEN LOOKS TO A WOMAN OTHER THAN HIS OWN. LET HIM PACK UP AND LEAVE OR LEAVE YOURSELF! THAT WILL TEACH HIM A LESSON - SHAME ON SUCH MEN !