Confused

[Sassy]

Salam Alaikum to all, Ramadan Kareem

Hi all i have not been on this forum for ages and im hoping that you can help me with my problem,im having serious doubts about my deen but i think it has more to do with my husband.....were having major problems in our marriage and im suffering a lot im been accused of the most horrific things...that i would never do.i feel like i dont love him anymore hes been voilent to me on so many occassions and im suffering alone as we live far from my family and i feel like such a failure when i should be turning to islam i find myself turning away and doubting everything, i have even contemplated sucide only its haram,,please offer me sound advice

[Serenity]

Assalamualaikum sis,

wow Subhanallah, I was really blown away by your post. Firstly this kind of issue on marital problems is not really my area of expertise so forgive me if my comments are not enough.

What I have found that when you are going through a really really dark time its common to feel like you are alone and to start having doubts in your religion. I know this is unrelated but when I was unemployed for so long having graduated I had the same thoughts as you did since it was a really bad depression.

But because you are in a vulnerbale position thats when shaytaan seizes the oppurtunity to try and make you leave your deen. Shaytaan also strives to seperate a man from his wife.

Obviously please do not leave your deen. Remember that Allah tests everyone in different ways and does not burden anyone beyond their scope. Keep remembering of Allah's endless bounties that he has done for you. And say Alhamdulilah regardless.

Also make strong dua that Allah gives you ease very soon. Surely Allah gives ease to those who has been through immense hardship because he is just to his slaves.

With regards to your maritial problems, may I ask when did they start and how?. Are you two a newly married couple?. Has he been physically violent or just with verbal abuse?. You don't have to answer these questions but you can talk to us if you want to delve deeper and someone more experienced can give you sound advice.

You say you are away from your family. Are you able to contact them at all?. Maybe you can let a trusted family member to intervene in order to cool things down. Or do you have any close friends you can talk to who can do the same?.

Is there an Imam you can get in contact with in your local area? for advice. If things have worsened between you and your husband still, maybe you can offer and ultimatum so he can change his ways Inshallah. I think you should get a trusted third party involved to help cool things down.

These are only suggestions. I'm sorry my advice isnt great.

I hope things get better for you Inshallah. Please don't feel alone, continue to talk to Allah for help, Allah loves it when his slave calls for him in need.

Please continue to have patience.

Serenity x

[New_Friend]

Dear Sassy,

Thank you for your post and allowing some of your current frustration "out"....it is a positive step to reach out to others to find support, encouragement and courage for your current marriage challenges.

I once experienced abuse, in a marriage, and remember well the pain and feelings of "disconnection" from God, my self, and others at the time.

If you are experiencing physical abuse frequently and increasingly, I encourage you to find a local women's organization that can provide you with counseling or a safe place if needed. Here are some links to start with (See Posting #6 in this thread): http://www.algeria.com/forums/womens...htm#post202050

If you need additional resources, please do not hesitate to contact me via PM and I may be able to help connect you to others, depending on your location.

You are in our prayers!

Sincerely,
New_Friend

[Sassy]

Salam Alaikum,
Thank you for your replys,i have been married 12 years in answer to your question and i have no kids,its not possible to speak to anyone as i live in another country and dont want them to worry....But i will try to get back to my deen and hopefully things will improve thanks so much