How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk!

[Cheba_Mami]

.1.
Set realistic expectations by not over idealizing your potential mate. Be honest with yourself when evaluating his flaws as well as assets. Decide what character traits are unacceptable and stick with your decision.

2.
Take time to recuperate after the end of a relationship. Most jerks miraculously appear when you are most vulnerable--directly after a break up. Make time to learn about yourself and your new goals for a relationship.

3.
Watch how he treats others. A potential jerk shows his tendencies fairly quickly. Observe how he treats waiters, other women, store clerks and co-workers. How he interacts with others--whether with respect or not--is a sign of how he will treat you.

4.
Listen to how he talks about the women in his life. If he constantly complains about or degrades his mother, sister, ex-girlfriends or wives or any other woman in his life, beware. It is delusional to think he'll speak any differently about you.

5.
Beware instant chemistry and false intimacy. Take the time to get to know your partner before deciding to marry. His jerk potential could be well hidden. It takes time to truly know someone and their values, commitment and honesty. TAKE YOUR TIME AND DO BACKGROUNDCHECKES, ASK HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS just in case. If you have a possibility ask his ex girlfriend!


Avoid any man who degrades, humiliates or abuses you physically, mentally or emotionally


Read more: How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk | eHow.com How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk | eHow.com

[Cheba_Mami]

do some research online and see if he behaves in that way.

Recognizing a Jerk | Stanford Entrepreneurship Lecture read books about it.

GET RID OF HIM_>>

Are you currently dating someone you consider a real "jerk." In the beginning though, he may have been a real gentleman, opening your door, buying you flowers, telling you how beautiful you are, and then "bam" something changes almost instantly. The signs may be subtle at first. He stops answering your phone calls, starts hanging out with his friends more often, or stops complementing you. When you ask him if there is something wrong, he calls you " crazy, paranoid, controlling or jealous." Well, I'm here to tell you, that your NOT crazy, paranoid controlling or jealous. What it is, is your intuition telling you something is wrong. Ladies, DO NOT IGNORE this gut instinct. God gave it to us for a reason, because men will try to make it into our problem and it's not US, it's THEM.

So, first you must learn the signs that he may be a complete "jerk" because It is easier to get out of a relationship after a couple months than it is to leave after a couple years. Especially, if you end up becoming serious with this person and end up marrying them or having a child with them. Save yourself the years of heartache. I didn't listen to my gut instinct and was with a "jerk" for 5 years and ended up having a son with him. I noticed the signs within the first two months of our relationship but thought he could change. I also thought since things were so great in the beginning that one day they could go back to being great again. Annnt... never happened!

So let me start by telling you some of the subtle signs of a "jerk."

1.The world revolves around him. This is actually the first sign of a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I was with a NPD "jerk" for 5 years and trust me, it's the epitome of hell. These men are very selfish and their only concern is themselves. You'll recognize this guy because he takes longer getting ready than you do! In the beginning they are able to act like they are concerned about you and your feelings, but that's just it, it's only an act. In actuality, what they are doing is manipulating you to put your trust and feelings into them. Then once they know they have you, all of a sudden they seem not to care anymore. If your man seems to only worry about himself and he's unable to take your thoughts and feelings into consideration. Well, you guessed it, he's a instant "jerk" and you can let this one GO!.
2.Liar, Liar pant's on fire. People who lie are called liars. People who make an art out of lying are called pathological liars. If you have caught you man in a few white lies before you may think it's no big deal because the lie was a small one. But the thing that I learned is that if a man is going to lie about something minuet then he's definitely gonna lie about the big stuff too, for example another women. Lying also breeds mistrust and it's a lose lose situation. So, if your man is a liar, even a small white liar, he's a "jerk" so get out fast!
3.Lack of empathy. Have you ever had an emotional situation happen to you and the first person you call is your boyfriend. Then after you explain what happened you hear " I'm sorry, that sucks, listen can I call you right back." Your heart sinks in your chest. One huge flag of narcissistic personality disorder is lack of empathy. Your man may not have this disorder but possible fear of emotions, lack of commitment or maybe he just can deal with these types of situations. For whatever reason your man is unemotional or unsupportive it's time to break free because you will never be able to share a close bond with them because they will always be emotionally unavailable and unsupportive.
4.Jealousy. Weather you man has jealousy issues with you and other men or just plain jealousy towards men it's not a good sign. This is because it shows a lack of self esteem. Men who are confident and secure do not need to criticize other men who are better off than themselves. They are also able to trust their partner's around other men because they are secure with themselves. If you man is a jealous one, I'd lose him, unless you want to be locked inside of his "jerk" prison.
These are just a few example of the self proclaimed "jerk." The most important detector however, is usually yourself. If you have an uneasy feeling about your man then go with your gut instincts. Trying to break free may be unexpectedly harder than it looks and you will need ALL of your self power to do so.