Marital problems

[anon13]

Hi
I have been married to algerian man for 4 years and and am experiencing problems. Since we have been married my husand has struggled to find work. when he has found work it lasts for few months and then he has to start looking again. He smokes cannabis everyday using money borrowed from friends. I dont know what i can do with him anymore. He stays out all day with his friends. He doesn't talk to me properly and just smokes cannabis 2-3 times a day. he also has a temper so I can't really ask him any questions and is withdrawn a lot of the time when he is home. I am at my wits end and dont know what to do anymore.

Any advice welcome

[julie]

i went threw simillar with my husband the first 7 years were hard i find it takes them a lot longer to grow up my husband changed when he started practing islam correctly he changed so much he stoped all the rubbish he was doing he gave up most of the friends that were not good then in 2009 we had the twins and he changed even more he works 15 hours a day mon/fri and still prays he shares weekends he spends a few hours with friends and the rest with us all i can hope is that your husband will change with time Algerian men are used to a lot of fredom and they find it hard to understand we need to have time with them

[sammo]

Dear anon13,
sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation. 4 years is just the beginning of marriage, i've been married for nearly 13 years now, still.... at times i could go mental. i assumed you and your hubby are still in love and care about each other deeply, perhaps he is having a breakdown for not being able to find work and support you properly as he should have. As the wife, if you still love him, you must always be calm, and advise him in a way that does not sound like you are challenging his position as a husband. and always Tawakal to Allah, everything that happen to us, whether good or bad, there is always a reason. Be strong my sister. may Allah be with you.
xxx
sammo