Hi girls! I am Maria... i live in Greece and i met a week before a man from Algeria. We both just felt in love at once!! He is sooooo handsome and cute!!! I don't know much about him but i think all day of him! He shows the same too. But there is a problem...i have already a 5 years old relationship with a Syrian man who now is in jail because he had no visa. Algerian man of course knows that and when we discuss about us he tells me that he don't know what to do because of the Syrian man. In other words he means that in order to tell me what he wants for me i have to break up with the Syrian man but i don't want to break up with him without knowing the feelings of the Algerian man. He also told me that if i break up with the Syrian man we are going to leave Greece together and go to France and live there. I want him very much but i can't be sure about him... What am i supposed to do? I need your opinion and your advices. Are Algerian men appropriate to be trusted from a foreign girl? What would you do if you were me?
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Thread: I need help!
6th May 2012 22:14 #1Registered User
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- May 2012
I need help!
7th May 2012 01:17 #2Registered User
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- Apr 2012
First of all, you can't really start one relationship without having ended the first.
Would you like that someone start a relationship while they are with you?
1) Decide what is going on with the Syrian man. If you just can't be with him then you need to end it regardless of the Algerian. The Algerian should not be a factor in that. If you are happy with the Syrian, the Algerian shouldn't have an affect on you either. If you are actually married, then you can't even initiate discussion of marriage with a new man (islamically) until your waiting period after a divorce. It is not fair to the Syrian man to be waiting for you when you are giving your heart to someone else. Jumping from one relationship to another is not resolving your issues, but a sure recipe for repeating past mistakes in the new cycle.
2)Is the Algerian interested in Marriage? What does he want from you? If it is not marriage, then run far away. If it is marriage, keep all your finances separately and be careful about even assisting with citizenship paperwork until this man has proven he is trustworthy. Is he able to provide for you?
I don't think most Algerian men respect a woman that they meet up with who is already with another man. If you want to make a decision on the Algerian, first fix the issue with the Syrian, then take some time to consider what you want or love about this Algerian and whether it is worth moving to another country?
3) A woman should never trust a man just based on her heart -- it will get broken. You will give up things that you should not have given up, and you will make compromises that degrade yourself and lose your rights. Look into Algerian culture. Look into Islam. Take your time and learn.
4) Look at your life goals and this man's life goals. Are you both really compatible beyond the long term infatuation that you are feeling? What would it be like to add in kids...?
I wish you the best, may Allah guide you to what is good. Take care of yourself and stop to think about what are your goals in this life. Did you ever consider, what is the purpose of this life? What would make you happy at the end of your life? How does this current situation help you or impede you from that life goal?
7th May 2012 10:48 #3Registered User
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- May 2012
My dear your advices are very helpful for me. You are right! That what i am doing is unfair for both of them. I feel that my relationship with the Syrian man has been over before i met the Algerian man,so yesterday night i thought very much about this situation and decided to break up with him no matter what is going to happen with the Algerian man. Tomorrow i am going to visit him in jail and explain to him. I hope he will understand. And then i will go to the Algerian man and tell him what happened in order to decide what he wants.Yesterday night about 3 o'clock he called me and something wanted to tell me but he understood that i was sleeping and told me to sleep again and we will talk next day(today) face to face!!! Oh i felt guilty! Today he wants to see me. I am very curious what he wants to tell me. Is it good or not?