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How to control that temper of yours...

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  • How to control that temper of yours...

    Salams All!

    Okay, follow these steps and release your anger...


    Steps

    1. Breathe. When we become angry, our breathing pattern becomes short and shallow. Focus on taking breaths with a shorter intake (4-5 sec) and a longer outtake (6-7 sec). This increases the oxygen content in the blood by alowing more CO2 to escape, therefore allowing you to think more clearly.

    2. Find the "purpose" of why you get angry. Most of the times there is no need to be angry.

    3. Look at the situation from other person's perspective. Get their view before you jump to conclusions.

    4. Look at the effects of your anger on the other person. It spoils their mood, upsets, frightens, and demotivates the other person.

    5. Count reverse from ten to zero till you get back to your senses.

    6. Take a short intake long outake breath. Then another.

    7. Leave and give yourself a "time out."

    8. Identify what you enjoy doing most. It could be painting, reading, exercising, or just shopping. Just involve yourself in it.


    Tips

    * If you feel anger taking over, remove yourself from the situation before things become too heated.

    * Recognize that sometimes anger is justified, and may need to come out. However, realize that there are productive ways to do it instead of lashing out at others.

    * Be diplomatic or make a witty comment, instead of just yelling. This way, if the other person overreacts, it makes you look good and them look bad.

    * Ask yourself if the future recipient of your furor deserves to be blown up at, or if you are just using them as a punching bag to release steam about another person/issue that bothers you.

    * Sometimes, instead of talking to someone directly, it is more appropriate to write a letter.

    * Taking yoga can be a long-term solution to anger problems, allowing you to focus on your feelings and release your stress.

    * If at all possible, remove yourself from the situation. It's amazing the difference 8-hours of sleep or a 5-minute walk can make. Time gives you distance from the issue, allowing you to put things into prespective.

    * Find a creative outlet, such as writing, drawing etc. where you can expend your energy. Hobbies help elevate your mood and allow you to channel energy that you'd usually spent dwelling on issues that you aren't able to resolve. Imagine what you could do with the energy you expend in anger if you channelled it into something else.

    * There is a difference between controlling anger and holding it in until later. If you are unable to avoid feelings of anger, try to release your bottled up feelings later in positive forms like art, exercise, or some other hobby.

    * Meditation is a useful way to release stress and/or anxiety which are often prerequisites to anger. Do not meditate when you are angry, as this could have a negative effect on your anger. Instead, meditate when you hav calmed down and are in complete control of your thoughts and emotions.


    Warnings

    * If you feel like you lose control when you're angry, seek psychological help.

    * Anger is never, ever an excuse to strike out at or abuse (physically or verbally) the people around you.


    ___________________

    ~BB

  • #2
    lol, and if that doesn't work...

    How to make a Hate Relief Doll

    Comment


    • #3
      These are helpful too:

      Steps

      1. Scream into a pillow.

      2. Draw a picture of the person you are mad at and rip it into pieces.

      3. Dance or listen to music.

      4. Kick your soccer ball into a tree or shed. Pretend it's the person you are really mad at.

      5. Write in your diary, or try some reading.

      6. Count to ten, then take deep breaths. You can repeat this, if you have to.

      7. Better yet, take deep breaths, and count them to ten. Then do it again.

      8. Consider the good points about the person who makes you mad.

      9. Breathe.

      10. Go do some kind of physical activity.

      11. Throw a fit (without anyone else around). Scream and stomp and throw yourself on the floor if you want. Bite a pillow, punch a pillow, throw it against the wall.

      12. Listen to some soothing music, or a favorite song.

      13. Lay down

      14. Talk to them calmly and tell them how you feel.

      15. Draw a funny picture about the person you're angry at!

      16. Write a story that uses the emotions you are experiencing.

      17. Think of something completely different.


      Tips

      * Make sure that when you talk to them, your body language shows that you are calm enough to talk it out.

      * Make sure that when you kick the soccer ball, you are outside and not near any breakables or plants (just so you don't get into any more trouble).

      * Beat something up i.e. pillow, punching bag, anything! (As long as it's not alive...)

      * Consider the reason you're angry, and try focusing that rage into doing something about it. Try fixing the source of your anger.

      * For anger in general, try reading texts like the Tao Te Ching of Taoism or the Dharmapada of Buddhism. These include interesting and logical suggestions about the roots of anger and how to prevent it.

      * Try looking into calming activities like Tai Chi, Yoga, or meditation.


      Warnings

      * Hitting or punching a tree can result in bodily injury.

      * Try not to spaz out at all to avoid this mess.

      _____________
      lol

      Comment


      • #4
        A trip to the mosque for few rakaates will calm the fire. Guaranteed or your money back
        A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty - Mark Bradford.

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        • #5
          With all my respect to you but all of this have no meaning
          there is no purpose for getting angry
          when you are angry you are out of your temper and mind , you don't use your mind to think , you can only think when you calm down
          what you shall not give.......i will take-THE GODFATHER,Part3

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Bent_Bladi View Post
            lol, and if that doesn't work...

            How to make a Hate Relief Doll

            But this is useful
            what you shall not give.......i will take-THE GODFATHER,Part3

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Yazou View Post
              A trip to the mosque for few rakaates will calm the fire. Guaranteed or your money back

              Haha, yes, I forgot to put the Islamic way:
              • if you're sitting, stand up.
              • If you're standing, sit down.
              • If you're near water, make wudu
              • If you have wudu, pray two rak3as


              _______
              to godfather:
              Don't tell me that you don't get angry...

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Bent_Bladi View Post
                _______
                to godfather:
                Don't tell me that you don't get angry...
                You didn't get me right

                i get angry very easily and this can not help me
                what you shall not give.......i will take-THE GODFATHER,Part3

                Comment


                • #9
                  it's okay - as long as you remember "he/she who angers you, controls you".

                  I have a bad anger problem myself, bas it'll be the death of me if I don't learn to control it...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'm trying to control it but i'm afraid of lossing my temper
                    for me i'm not afraid from death ,i'm afraid of jail
                    what you shall not give.......i will take-THE GODFATHER,Part3

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ah... I see -- if losing your temper on that kind of person, that can put you in jail, you should seriously consider the hate releasing doll idea... lol

                      Actually, I'm more afraid of saying something out of anger that can irreversibly hurt someone... (and that leaves me no place but jahanam, la sama7 Allah!). Mou 2allileh hal anger management issue.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bent_Bladi View Post
                        (and that leaves me no place but jahanam, la sama7 Allah!).
                        la sama7 allah ba3d el shar 3aliky
                        what you shall not give.......i will take-THE GODFATHER,Part3

                        Comment

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