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  • I really like how Algerians are open-minded to other cultures

    Assalamualaikum my sisters!

    I just had to add to UmmHarith's great comment :

    ''But the one thing that have to say that Algerian men will marry anyone for any culture they just don't stick to their own which i think is wonderful and the majority of women do become Muslim, they are not prejudice or racist in this respect, and more and more British women are becoming Muslim and marrying really pious practicing Algerian men like mine Mashaa Allah!''

    This is very true not just with Algerian men but North African or any other type of African man in general. I do know a few mixed algerian/english married families and culture is not a hindrance in any way for them. Also my last proposal was from an algerian man , and all he cared about was my personality and Islam , not looks , not culture ( I am of Indonesian descent). However couldn't marry him due to the circumstance at the time .

    I find north Africans incredibly hospitable and open , just like how all the muslims of the ummah should be. Unfortunately tribal/caste/social status differences seem to matter to other muslims from certain sections of some cultures including my own.

    So big-up to algerians!

    Comment


    • I sometimes wonder what OUR Algerian guys find in such show off and full of themselves BLONDE chicks (of course they are ALL blonde, aren't they ? )

      PS: And all Algerian women are frizzy black haired, ugly and fat, aren't they ?

      PPS: And don't you dare preach me ! La religion a bon dos !

      Comment


      • my story.. sorry its so long, but please read it, i appreciate any comments!

        up until march this year i was a lost, confused, out of control 16 year old 'christian' teenager.. drinking at every chance i could and getting high as much as possible, previously to this i had always found interest in islaam from when i first started studying it at secondary school, i found myself asking alot of questions about chrisitianity that i couldnt answer, however alsways seemed to find the answer in islaam. i had considered converting but thought to wait as i knew my family would not be accepting of it. (this was about last summer) after that i became stray from the idea and was very distracted after finding out my mum had breast cancer and was becoming sick i went off the rails as a selfish mindless teenager would. In febuary this year, my life began to change after one drunk, crazy night. Me and my friends were drinking alot and were always ending up all over the place. this night in febuary my friend decided we should go to meet a friend of hers, about 2 hours away by car. drunk and ambitious, not quite knowing wheere we would end up we finally ended up at her friends, friends flat, after taking numerous buses, trains and car rides! there were 3 guys at the house- all algerian, one morrocan girl- a friend of thiers and a mixed race girl who was with one of the algrian guys, plus the three of us. my friend was all over the guy she knew and I became close with the guy who the flat belonged to. we were all drinking accept the guy i was with, who had just been smoking alot of weed. after that night, i thought not much of it... just another mad drunk night, and i thought it muct have been the same for the guy i got with, thinking he must have loads of partys like that, it was nothing special just another party night for all of us. however, i did keep in contact with him and we returned to a few more parties there with the same people, again all drinking accept him who was onnly smoking. after a while he asked me to come and stay without my friends, just come alone me and him. so i did, i had a good feeling about him and hadnt wanted to be with someone as much as him before-id never been one to want a relationship. after going to stay with him again and again, a few times a week for about 2 months, things began to get more seious between us and i realised that i hadnt been drinking since i started going to see him alone, i was just spending time with him at any chance i could. he told me how he had stopped smoking weed and having parties at his house and wanted to become a better person. after a while, we just became really close friends and by may this year i was just going to see him to spend time with him and we even slpet in separate beds. towards june, we started having convosations about religion and as we had become such good friends, i opened up to him about how i had been confused about christianity and had thought about converting before, he was really shocked about it and wanted to do the right thing and help me. after me stopping drinking and partying since febuary i was lost with studies, not doing well and was looking for guidance. i was starting to see sense, mashallah. i began asking him alot of questions about religion and he was telling me all about his past and how he felt so bad for being a bad person in the past and smoking weed and having so many parties, he said when he met me, he saw good in me and it encouraged him to stop and become a good muslim again, which he had gone off the rails a bit after coming to england when he was 16 in 2006. i was shocked at what he was telling me and i cnt explain but something inside me has changed since i converted in late june2010. i feel like a clean person and like i have purpose in life and for that i will be eternally greatful for him helping me find my way. he kept asking me if i was sure i wanted to convert and i reassured him again and again yes yes yes yes yes yes yes , its like there was nothing else i would rather do more, its a feeling that ill never be able to explain. after helping me, he told me to watch out for guys wanting to marry me and to be careful and make sure i chose the right guy.. about a week after i converted, we were talking on the phone and he told me to stop coming to see him as it wasnt right that we were spending time with eachother and i remmeber him asking me.. can you do something for me? .. can you live without me? after that i didnt know what to say and the thought of never seeing him again ripped me apart, i didnt eat for days, just thinking how hard things would be without him to talk to and be there for me like he had been so much. i replied to his question a few days later with ' no , i cant live without you.' and he tried to ensure me tha i could and it would be the right thing to do for both of us. i listened to what he had to say and followed his advice. we stopped talking for abou a week, which seemed like a year after talking to him everyday before then. he said to me that he couldnt stop thinking about me and he couldnt just forget about eerything, i told him that i felt exactly the same and asked him what we should do. we both went to see and imam for guidance, who told us that if we really want to be together then we should marry. ofcourse we followed the imams advice and married after i went to be with him for one week. i went to stay there because the week before ( mid july) my mum had tried to kill herself after me telling her that i had converted to islaam, my whole family went out of control and told me that if i didnt change my mind then i was no longer welcome in the house. i tried to reason with them, help them and help them see what i was feeling, but like i said, its a feeling that ill never be able to explain. they sent me away and i told them that i was going to live with a guy that i knew. ( they didnt really know much of him) i went to stay with him and the day i arrived, we took up the imams advice and became islaamically married, we both felt very content with our decision after and felt like we no longer were doing the wrong thing and could be togther happily and correctly. that week, my mum got the police involved and changed her mind, deciding she wanted me home, so a week later i returned home, proudly wearing a hijab, happier then i had been for years. my mum said she hadnt seen me so happy in so long and i think she began to relaise how much islaam had become to mean to me. it is now coming towards the end of september and i am 17, a married, happy muslim and have recently found out that i am 11 weeks pregnant from the week we got married. i was shocked to start with as it was very unexpected, but after speaking to him,, he has come around to the idea and cant wait to be a family. i have handed in my nitoce at my part time work and it is my last day this week, at the end of next week, i plan on moving to be with him, where we can be togther as a family, my mum said i should because shes not going to support me if i stay and he desperatley wants me to go so that he can look after both me and the baby as he should. im so excited and have never been happier, i feel as if this year has completely changed my life and for the better, i feel like im doing the right thing and keeping close to Allah with my prayers, im hoping things will stay looking up for the both.. or should i say 3of us. i know in the past i was very foolish, please dont judge me on how i use to be, i can honestley say i am a changed person and i do regret being the person i use to be, however i didn learn alot from my mistakes, and if i hadnt have made them, i would never have met my husband. we are now planning a life together and i really cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him and be a good wife and parent to my husband and child. like i said, i feel like i really am doing the right thing here but coming from a christian, english family surrounded by white non muslim opinions and thoughts, not one of them has congratulated me or reassured me. i know its a shock to everyone, but sometimes its just nice to know your not alone and that your doing the right thing, so i guess thats what im looking for here.. any comments would be greatly appreciated and if anyone has anymore questions, id be happy to answer. as-salaam-alaikum.

        Comment


        • Assalamualaikum and congratulations!

          Salam new sister!

          I was very intrigued reading your story and am genuinely happy that you have found so much positivity since becoming a muslim. All I can say is keep striving to be a better muslim, it doesn't matter what you did before because you have a clean slate now. You know alot of the sahabahs the close companions of the prophet (saw) converted from jahaliyah but were the best of people because they knew what life is like not being a muslim.

          Just want to wish you all the very best and hope that immersing yourself in your deen becomes easier Inshallah. Marshallah the fact that you have married you have already completed half your deen. What can I say Marshallah I am very happy for you.

          Keep making dua for your family to come round Inshallah. I also think its a good idea to be in contact with convert sisters from a mosque so you have that feeling where you are able to relate to people with your experience, effectively strengthening your iman.

          Welcome to the forum.

          Wasalaam xxx

          Comment


          • Its good to read good stories about marrying algerians. I got married to an algerian aout 4 years ago. Although things were well to begin with they soon started to go downhill as he began to change. Always going out with friends, smoking weed, losing his temper more. As a british individual I never thought I would put up with this from anyone but I just can't give up on my marriage. I live in hope that things will get better.

            Although it is nice to hear about marriages to algerian men that are happy and that do work but there is also a small percentage where things just don't turn out the way you expected.

            Comment


            • Advice needed

              Whilst recently visiting a friend in Dubai I met an Algerian man. He is nearly 10 years younger. After he almost relentlessly pursued me for a couple of days I met up with him, my friend and his a couple of times. He was rather full on, saying that he loved me, i was the most beautiful woman and so on. As a British women I was understandably dubious! He even mentioned marriage! He is very keen for me to live in Dubai, although without work this could be rather difficult. It is clear he does not intend to live in the UK and whilst Muslim is clearly a modern man with a good job in Dubai. I made it clear I was not rich and I was not interested in sleeping with him or anyone else for that matter. Whilst in Dubai I dressed according to their etiquette and if I am honest gave him the brush off, as I didn't know what to think. We have kept in touch and he continues in similar vein about loving me and wanting me to live in Dubai. I am visiting again in a weeks time and I am not sure if I should meet up with him. As a British women we often hear of stories of men saying such things for sex, money or a visa and I really don't know what to think. Any advice would be welcome as I am not familiar with Algerian men. He seems genuine and talked about his family, his brother and his brother's wife who is American thanks

              Comment


              • well done

                Sister

                First i must congratulate you, welcome to the kingdom of Islam and inshalllah you will find peace, love and harmony in your life. FYI, my wife, an anglo like yourself, had exactely the same experience and we have been happily married for 25 years now and we have 7 children. You made the right decision.

                wassalam

                -Amine

                Comment


                • English women with Algerian men

                  Asalamu Alaikum,
                  I am a scottish women and have been dating an Algerian man for 8 months. I have been reading all of your experiences. Some good and some bad but thats life I guess. I am looking for some advice as I feel a bit out of my depth here and normally would keep my own counsel. As with any relationship it started out good, he was attentive, caring, could not get enough of me etc but I expect things to change anyway. Now he hardly ever texts or phones me. We spoke about moving in together and marriage and having been married before it is not a decision I take lightly. I have heard that algerian men like their freedom and to a point so do I but right now we hardly see each other and his answer is to move in together which I am not ready for emotionally or financially. His life is very much centered around his friends and recently he has been ending our dates early or changing days so he can socialise with them. On tuesday I finally had enough as I made the effort to meet him and without word of warning he ended our date and I got angry with him for not informing me or we could have changed our date to another day if i had known. I have contacted him but he wont reply so far. I feel I am making all the effort as on top of this I am learning arabic and reading the qu'ran. Is this just an algerians way of doing things or is it just him as he is very laid back? My friend is married to an algerian but I do not wish to involve her as her husband and my boyfriend are related.
                  Thank you in advance for your help.

                  Comment


                  • Asalamu Alaikum,

                    Im sorry but I only have bad experience of algerian men and they do not change in my book. In their eyes friends will always come first and wives last. Some women will put up with it while others dont. In my eyes marriage is about sharing and companionship and algerian men struggle to do either. I commend you for learning arabic and learning to read the quran but as you read it you will find that his behaviour is not right islamically and as a husband he must put you and your needs first and friends last.

                    I would make sure he is financially set up himself as many a times I have heard about the wives pay for everything while the men do not contribute. Im sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear but I can only share my experience. Good luck and feel free to ask me any further advice

                    Inshallah I hope everything works out for you

                    Comment


                    • No need to generalise

                      Originally posted by anon13 View Post
                      Asalamu Alaikum,

                      Im sorry but I only have bad experience of algerian men and they do not change in my book. In their eyes friends will always come first and wives last. Some women will put up with it while others dont. In my eyes marriage is about sharing and companionship and algerian men struggle to do either. I commend you for learning arabic and learning to read the quran but as you read it you will find that his behaviour is not right islamically and as a husband he must put you and your needs first and friends last.

                      I would make sure he is financially set up himself as many a times I have heard about the wives pay for everything while the men do not contribute. Im sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear but I can only share my experience. Good luck and feel free to ask me any further advice

                      Inshallah I hope everything works out for you
                      Firstly, I am sorry if you have had a bad experience with a person who happens to be from Algeria........

                      However there is good and bad everywhere in the world this is not limited to Algeria........

                      Many non Algerienne people I have met who are married to Algerian Men in the UK, France, Canada and Algeria are extremely happy with their Algerian husbands. They find their husbands to be extremey attentive, kind, generous and loving and make wonderful fathers and husbands......this is also extended to Algeriennes married to Algerian men

                      So I find your post - which is obviously based on your own sour experience - to pass judgement on a whole nation of people extremey biased and unjust.

                      As I said previously there is good and bad everywhere, that is like warning a non scottish person to think about not marrying a Scott in fear that they maybe or may become an alcoholic.... based on an experience a freind of mine had with her husband.........

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Hollee View Post
                        Asalamu Alaikum,
                        I am a scottish women and have been dating an Algerian man for 8 months. I have been reading all of your experiences. Some good and some bad but thats life I guess. I am looking for some advice as I feel a bit out of my depth here and normally would keep my own counsel. As with any relationship it started out good, he was attentive, caring, could not get enough of me etc but I expect things to change anyway. Now he hardly ever texts or phones me. We spoke about moving in together and marriage and having been married before it is not a decision I take lightly. I have heard that algerian men like their freedom and to a point so do I but right now we hardly see each other and his answer is to move in together which I am not ready for emotionally or financially. His life is very much centered around his friends and recently he has been ending our dates early or changing days so he can socialise with them. On tuesday I finally had enough as I made the effort to meet him and without word of warning he ended our date and I got angry with him for not informing me or we could have changed our date to another day if i had known. I have contacted him but he wont reply so far. I feel I am making all the effort as on top of this I am learning arabic and reading the qu'ran. Is this just an algerians way of doing things or is it just him as he is very laid back? My friend is married to an algerian but I do not wish to involve her as her husband and my boyfriend are related.
                        Thank you in advance for your help.
                        Listen some advice .. this is not limited to Algerien Men it applies to ALL men.... if he likes you and sees you as a future wife and not some fling he will persue you...... sounds like hes not that interested, therefore I would let him go

                        there is the saying if he is meant for you he will be yours - so let him go and if he comes back then he is meant for you

                        Muslims believe in Maktoob - if you google you can read about the meaning of this word

                        Best thing you can do is "put him out" of your life for now, take a new direction, if he calls you, don't go out of your way to accommodate his wishes, only do so if it suits you, let him see how it feels to be let down for a change.......and what ever you do "do not chase him" all men hate this!!!! except for a very few ..........

                        It is great if you are truely interested in Islam, but please do this for yourself not because of the interest of another man - really Islam is a beautiful philosophy and way of life inshallah Allah brings about tests for us all and inshallah maybe this man was just the cause for you to know and understand islam - it is what we believe is Maktoob.

                        I am sure there are many muslim people here who can help guide you in the right direction if you are intersted in Islam

                        Comment


                        • English women with Algerian men

                          Asalamu Alaikum,
                          Thank you both for your advice. You both have some valid points to consider. Firstly it seems me and my partner had a simple miscommunication when he left our date early. It is bound to happen with us communicating in three languages. We were both wrong in our actions and have had a good talk about our relationship and since then we have both been making more of an effort and for now it is going well. I guess everyone gets a bit complacent in their relationship and stops making an effort. However Mayissa I did take your advice and put some space between us and he did pursue me. I take on board your comment about Islam and truly believe that we all come into each others lifes for a reason and maybe he is my introduction to islam. And I believe a true muslim man would never expect his non-muslim partner to learn or convert to Islam for his sake, only if it was her thought and wish to do so.
                          Anon13 I am sorry that you have had nothing but bad experiences and thank you for your advice. I hope one day you have a good experience which will make up for all the bad ones.
                          As for me, I hope to continue my relationship and have a happy future together.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Hollee View Post
                            Asalamu Alaikum,
                            Thank you both for your advice. You both have some valid points to consider. Firstly it seems me and my partner had a simple miscommunication when he left our date early. It is bound to happen with us communicating in three languages. We were both wrong in our actions and have had a good talk about our relationship and since then we have both been making more of an effort and for now it is going well. I guess everyone gets a bit complacent in their relationship and stops making an effort. However Mayissa I did take your advice and put some space between us and he did pursue me. I take on board your comment about Islam and truly believe that we all come into each others lifes for a reason and maybe he is my introduction to islam. And I believe a true muslim man would never expect his non-muslim partner to learn or convert to Islam for his sake, only if it was her thought and wish to do so.
                            Anon13 I am sorry that you have had nothing but bad experiences and thank you for your advice. I hope one day you have a good experience which will make up for all the bad ones.
                            As for me, I hope to continue my relationship and have a happy future together.
                            Believe me on that....keep the space... but not too much, just enough so that you are never taken for granted, and it is always a nice feeling to be persued and men like the chase a little

                            I dont know why but - it does apply to all men - but DZ men from my experience - maybe mothers fault - like to be the centre of attention and presume they CAN take you for granted emotionally..... my Grandmother always gave me invaluable advice, in the begining of a relationship it is important to set the boundaries and iron out any bad habits or behaviour.............. and she was always right.....so keep that space, and your independance and dignity just while the relationship is forming its boundaries

                            As I said when an Algerian Man falls in love they really do......... and they will be quite loyal as culturally marriage is taken quite seriously - although heard things changing back home recently divorce is on the rise

                            Regards to Islam..... keep reading and learning as much as you can, ask as many questions as you can, we are all here for you if we can help xxxxx

                            If you live near a mosque why not ask if they can recommend some books for non muslims to have a read?

                            I am happy to hear that things are going better xxxx

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Jazaireya4ever View Post
                              B2MR

                              -a Rolls Royce
                              -a mansion (doesn't matter the number of rooms)
                              -an oil well next door
                              -a part of the moon
                              -a cat (that will be thrown away once it grows too old)
                              -maids
                              -two holiday periods per year
                              -the husband's bank account
                              -a report of EVERYthing he's done during the day
                              -... Don't know if anyone has anything else to add

                              or

                              -A Trustful MAN's man
                              -a modest lifestyle would do
                              -nothing else to add

                              And no no, you guys CAN live without us, you've been doing it for decades, nothing to be surprised about

                              If a man doesn't act like a man, then he's not a man, he's only what "appears" to be some kind of man, nothing more, so if that's the case, I don't think he should even marry because the wife is eventually going to step upon him like the soil she walks upon everyday. Don't misunderstand that with being violent, no it has nothing to do with violence but with being firm at times when it needs to and gentle, funny at times when it's needed. Having a balance is the key and understanding, yes women would prefer men who understand them without having to say a word. What else can I say guys, simply be MEN not some weirdos coming out of some next world wanting to take women's position in life... And anyone feel free to correct me if I am wrong but I believe all Algerian women would zap on a man with the slightest feminine/gayish traits, it's more yack than anything else... Now you can do your hunting LOL I think I gave you enough to do with...
                              I love everything you are saying haha! I am dating an Algerian and I would loooooove to ask you some questions. I am new to this so I do not know how it works, but if you can message me privately, please do.

                              Comment


                              • USA Lady dating and Algeria Man



                                Salam!

                                I am an USA lady dating an Algeria Man for 1 year now. I visited him twice, not in his country but one near it. I had an awesome time there. Definitively, is a totally different culture from ours in USA. People everywhere treat me great! I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you! to all those people that even though I don't speak Arabic they did everything to help me in the grocery stores! Thank You! I love you'll!

                                I will love to hear from ladies that have been actually in Algeria to let me know how it is their live styles from an out of the country point of view. Please tell me the town that you have been as well. How is your mate behavior and their families? Did you went out alone? Do they have malls, nail tech, good hair dressers and cool stuff as we do?

                                I want to mentioned that I had a great time with him and his family the two times I been there. Their been some moments I felt a little stress, thinking if is right (according to their culture) my behavior. I am a respectful person with everybody I always dress properly in my regular life in USA. I am a natural person that smile all the time. I noticed they are very nice people but don't smile that often. Ha ha ha Sorry, Algeria I will smile until I die that fulfill my soul . Love you'll people!

                                Please lets be real and talk about important matter for our happiness and to learn about their culture. Like in any other culture, there are good and bad people. If we don't take the time to know in good and bad moment our partners is our fault. We have to be mature and analyze the "red flags" and not get marry just because....We are not perfect they aren't either. Communication is the key.

                                My boyfriend is very strict and have a pretty strong temper and he is a real Muslim. He is honest and tell me what he likes what he doesn't like. I put my point of view as well. I am christian and we respect each other pretty well. We talk when he doesn't agree with something. Sometimes he hit the roof with me, cause I like to push...so I could have a pretty good idea what will happen in different situations..... but me talk and I feel his love even though he is mad.

                                Come on I want comments.... thank you!

                                Ohhh Happy Ramadan for you'll! I will be praying for all of you and your countries as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Best Regards,
                                Happy

                                Comment

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