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Living together before marriage - help!

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  • Living together before marriage - help!

    I recently reconnected with an old Algerian boyfriend (I am Swiss) from many years ago and we want to take our relationship further this time. I am very adamant I can’t marry him until I have lived with him for at least six months in Algiers, to see how life is with him (we get on great but he’s also pretty bossy and controlling). He’s equally adamant that he can’t do that for religious reasons, and wants to get married immediately.

    His solution is to have an Islamic ceremony when we first meet (in Europe where we’ll vacation for a while), and then after six months when I am comfortable in Algiers and with him, we have the civil ceremony. I say fine, as long as he understands that I won’t consider myself married to him until we have the civil ceremony. He says I can’t do that, I would be lying before G-d, but I am not Muslim. In all honesty the religious ceremony will not mean anything to me, but I would do it for him.

    Does anyone have any thoughts on this situation or any advice? I know there is such a thing as “temporary marriage” in Islam, which I thought might be another solution, but it seems that it’s not accepted by all Muslims. What about in Algeria?

    Thanks!

  • #2
    .

    temporary marriages do exist in Islam, i'm not sure if they're common in Algeria however.

    It seems like marrying Islamically will be a "real" marriage for him though and if you're not taking it with the same level of seriousness then it's bound to cause problems.

    Also, if you decide you don't want to remain with him (or marry him in a civil service) then he'll consider you his wife already so will need to divorce?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Yas View Post

      Also, if you decide you don't want to remain with him (or marry him in a civil service) then he'll consider you his wife already so will need to divorce?


      You won't need a divorce in the legal sense if it hasn't been legalised with the civil 'ceremony'

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      • #4
        well, temporary marriage doesn't exist in Algeria ,because this kind of marriage exist for sheits not for sunni ,as in algeria all muslims are sunni ,even if there is who is not sunni he is hiding it , in sunni muslims' rules temporary marriage is forbidden.

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