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  • #16
    I know very basic algerian dialect which i learnt whilst i was there. BUt my in laws also speak french which i can speak. Last year I went to algeria by myself and had a really good time. I cant communicate with them a lot but they are very patient people. When your hubby gets back you need to make him understand that you can't learn about his culture if he keeps going by himself.

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    • #17
      I have been to algeria twice. where in algeria do your inlaws live. i have been to algiers. there is some lovely places there. Was your husband there when you went by your self.

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      • #18
        They live bout 30 mins from algiers on the coast. It is a lovely place. No my husband was not there when i went but i actually had a good time. I was able to go out and stuff which would difficult if my hubby was there. Im lucky as I do have and english speaking friend there which did help me a lot but she wasnt always with me. Maybe you can start communicating with your in laws a bit more. DO they speak french at all?

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        • #19
          I can only say a few words in french. i think it is more algerian they speak. i admire you for going by yourself.

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          • #20
            thank you but it wasnt enough to save my marriage. but inshallah eveything will be okay with you. Please try not to worry about

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            • #21
              hi did your husband move back there. I am so sorry your marrige ended. did he meet some one else. what was his reason for going by himself & spending a long time there.
              i hope you have met your soul mate & are happy. by the way are you muslim too.
              i have enjoyed are chats on here

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              • #22
                I have enjoyed these chats too. And yes I am muslim. The problem was that he wasn't ready for marriage. His friends and doing things without his wife were more important than having a wife. He also had really bad anger problems which i could not longer cope with. To be honest as this is quite recent i dont know what his plans are but when he was away for a long period of time it did hurt me a great deal

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                • #23
                  If ever you need anyone to talk to i am a good listener, you can e mail me . yes i know what you mean family & friends first, wife & her feeling last . i convered to muslim in 2010 & still lots to learn.

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                  • #24
                    mashallah you converted to islam and the one thing that has kept me strong is my faith. Dont worry - islam is always about learning. so continue to learn - it would be good to talk thanks - pls send me your email on a private message.

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                    • #25
                      take it easy

                      i wouldnt worry too much sis, most arab men like thier space just be patient and all will be fine,.....

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                      • #26
                        THank you to your reply. It helps to talk to people & share storys too.

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                        • #27
                          My Experience with Algerian men

                          Hello,

                          I am in my 40's and I live in the United States. About 11 years ago I ended a relationship with a Algerian guy I had been with for about 7 years. We loved and I mean loved each other very much. I think it was a very dangerous type of love. He was a Great lover and I can say my best friend. We did have our ups and downs. He was very temperamental and so was I. The mix was combustible to say the least. He went through a drinking phase, a feeling sorry for himself phase, a wanna be a strict Muslim phase (but he and i were not married) and we often fought about this. Then it was am I French or Arab stage. It was crazy but we stayed together. He would give in at some point when I would totally and I mean totally ignore him. He would come back begging. Then there was a point where he did get physical and hit me on two occasions when we had a disagreement. One was over a religous video he wanted me to watch and I said something to anger him as I questioned his faith while having an relationship with me and we where not married. He exploded and hit me. Then there was the time when I finally ended the relationship because he said that if I ever broke up with him he would kill me. It bothered me to the point where I could not take it anymore. When I told him I just remembered picking myself up from the floor. He hit me that hard. I cried. I am a tuff person but I could not fight him back at that point. He felt so bad. I knew this had to be the last straw. I did hit him first once also when he mad me angry. So I think we both has some issues. In spite of it all I can say he was a caring and compassionate guy. I still have love in my heart for him until this very day but it would not have worked in the long run. I think it was a mixture of upbringing, cultural and religous values and culture shock of living in America made way for a difficult relationship for both of us. He finally agreed with me that it would be best for us to part, but he did have a mild break down and tried to come back several times but I would not budge. I moved on. I have dated Moroccan and other muslime men but I can say that Algerian men have something special about them and can be compassionate, loving and good hearted. We all have our faults. If I had to choose again it would be an Algerian.

                          I have met a wonderful Algerian guy and now that I am older and wiser and not looking to get married right away I will see how this works out. I would like to say good luck and try to understand. I know feeling left out is painful. Being an outsider in a different culture is not easy and what he is doing is selfish. You are a wife and I believe in doing things together. If he needs his space then give it to him. Maybe you should do the same and visit your family or friends on your own without him and see how he feels about it.

                          Douhi Aliya

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                          • #28
                            thank you for your reply. i hope you are ok now & happy. yes there is good & bad in everyone. it hurts me has he broke a promise he made last year by saying he would not go by himself. It is all swept under the carpet.
                            In reguards to family they have to acept me for who i am . i accept them, it works both ways. I know with his sister she does not like me, that i have felt. i have e mailed her & never got no replys. she told my husband she did not know what to say. i got the message, which has cause arguments between us as he always sticks up for them.
                            when he is away i will blank my mind as i don,t want no contact. at the end of the day he stated he wanted to spend time with his freinds & family.

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                            • #29
                              Husband on Algeria

                              I am very sorry that you are upset and sad. I could be that he get a little tired of translation. I depends his personality. Do you have a good relation with their family? Have you tried to learn his language? Is he a good husband with you?

                              Analyze the above questions and if he is a good husband he should work a happy medium for both. Like ok the first week you he goes by himself and the second he should take you with him.

                              But been gone for months......is not a good signal!

                              If you feel you need to talk e-mail me.

                              You are more than welcome! Have a beautiful day!

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                              • #30
                                hi i did ask if i could go for the 2nd week but the answer was no. we have talked and he has mades me another promise he will go go by himself. i have to trust him & hopefully he will keep his promise. i have tried to learn algerian , i can say a few words. most of his family are ok. some there is the lanuage barrier which i am trying to break but it has to come from both side not just by me.
                                my husband always talks to them without me , even at home on the phone so i am not been able to get that bond. i have told my husband about how i feel . nothing has been done as of yet.
                                he is a good husband and i love him so much but there has to be changes for the better.
                                you can always send me an e mail.
                                take care

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